


Life Through A Mortal Death

by Awol



Series: Metempsychosis [1]
Category: Transformers (Bay Movies), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Allspark shard, Blood and Gore, Body Horror, Bot!Sam, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Chronic Pain, Holoforms (Transformers), Human Transformation, M/M, Minor Character Death, Pre-Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009), Secrets, Transformers (2007) - Freeform, no female bots, painful transformation, possessive and protective optimus, psycho optimus, yandere optimus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-16 22:04:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 42,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16503548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awol/pseuds/Awol
Summary: Being the new Cybertronian liaison, Sam is moving to the base to be closer to the Autobots and help them settle into their new life on Earth. But there is a small hitch in this simple plan when Sam finds a shard of the Allspark when he is packing up to move…





	1. That Sinking Feeling

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings: Future gore and body horror in future chapters, death and a bit of violence will also come along.

Life Through A Mortal Death

**Life and death are illusions. We are in a constant state of transformation.**

**-** _Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu_

Summary: Being the new Cybertronian liaison, Sam is moving to the base to be closer to the Autobots and help them settle into their new life on Earth. But there is a small hitch in this simple plan when Sam finds a shard of the Allspark when he is packing up to move…

 

Trigger warnings: Future gore and body horror in future chapters, death and a bit of violence will also come along.

 

Chapter 1: That Sinking Feeling

 

It was just a small past ten at night when Sam decided he wasn’t getting any sleep whatsoever. It just wasn’t in his body to do so. Maybe it was nerves, maybe it was a sixth sense of something to come, but for whatever reason, Sam couldn’t get himself to sleep. He was wide awake and just decided to go back to his task he had been doing that early morning.

 

Packing.

 

It was odd, he had never packed up to move anywhere before, not permanently. He didn’t know what he needed to actually take or what to get rid of. He probably should get rid of things he didn’t need anymore, clothing that didn’t fit or was ruined in one way or another, books that he no longer had interest in. He smirked and began to sort through the items to do that, he could have Bee drop them off later at donation places when his guardian came back from the Autobot consulate to tell him more of what was coming.

 

He was ever so thankful for what opportunity he had now, he could be around his guardian and help him, help his friends, the Autobots that became so ingrained into his life over the past year and a half. They hadn’t gotten any of their lost comrades to come in just yet, but that didn’t mean they hadn’t had some chance contact now and again on the strained resources they had. Strained in they didn’t know how to fully put them together on their own limited knowledge, they were leaders, warriors, and a medic, not engineers, communications and such.

 

They had little to actually make themselves work on other objects outside their field of comfort. Optimus doing engineer work would be as much difficulty as getting Ironhide to learn medicine, it just didn’t work that way and Sam understood wholeheartedly how frustrating it was to not understand something. Heck, he was still trying to understand the Cybertronian lingo and time differences and _some_ of their language in all it’s confusing clicks, whirring, and whistlings.

 

Would be a lot easier if he was Cybertronian like them, but that would probably cause a whole lot of other trouble than it was worth. Not to mention he didn’t know the first thing about being a Cybertronian let alone how to actually learn to communicate like them.

 

 _Still, though,_ Sam thought to himself and smiled, _Would be a little interesting if I could understand them better, be easier to know what they think and how they feel if I was._ He chuckled and shook his head. Yeah, that was never gonna happen, he couldn’t become a Cybertronian in any sense of the form, for one it would horrible to go from bone, flesh, and blood to metal, cybernetics, and spark. Also, his life here as a human needed him, he was the liaison and one of the only links to helping his friends on Earth.

 

Sam stopped his thinking as he grabbed his jacket from Mission City. He hadn't thought much of it since he last wore it in the battle. He blinked and smelt it. His nose curled as it still smelled of gunpowder and something faintly of sulfur, even if it had been washed and put away for so long. Oh well, things probably stayed for a reason. He moved to fold it and pack it away as a reminder of the last battle when there was a small ‘tink’ sound as something dropped on the floor. Gazing down, he blinked as it was a black piece of what looked like a rock on the floor. Then again it might just be because it was in his shadow.

 

Sam moved to pick it up and carefully held it between his fingers as he let the light shine on it some. It was now silver and it seemed to be a chip of something, a sliver… His mind raced as suddenly he knew this was a piece of the Allspark. He stared and then moved to go and try and find something to put it in. He needed to get this to Optimus and the others! He began to open his desk for something he could hide the piece of alien tech in and unconsciously moved to put it in his palm while he began to search.

 

Doing this caused the Allspark to pulse with life as he touched a remaining glyph in it and it began to warm up in his hand and slowly sink into the palm of his hand. Sam yelped and opened his palm and saw, in horror, as the sliver of the Allspark began to disappear into his hand! He frantically began to try and grab it as it disappeared into him, clawing his palm and hissing as it got out of his fingernail reach and he stared at the hole that it left behind.

 

Sam lightly touched the hole and saw it close up just as quickly as it was made then hissed as he felt the shard pulsed in his hand and began to _move_ upwards from where it entered. Sam hissed as it hurt, it felt like his hand was on fire and it was moving up his wrist, moving through the delicate muscles and ligaments. The shard was not going so fast through his body, but it seemed to be following a path of sorts. The young human turned his eyes onto the focal point of his wrist and saw the shard in his arm now. It was pulsing and it left a black spider web of lines behind for a moment before they disappeared as the shard moved onwards.

 

“This isn’t good… oh God, oh, _Primus!_ What is going on!?” Sam said, correcting his language since this wasn’t the Human’s version of God’s doing, aloud while he continued to watch the shard in horror. He just followed it, not looking to find anything to cut his arm open in a dangerous manner of panic to try and carve the thing out, that would cause more problems than it was worth! A-At least Sam believed. He didn’t know what in the name of the Cybertronian God was happening to him, why the piece of alien tech was now _m_ _o_ _ving_ through his internal structure, but it was not a good thing.

 

No, this was not a good thing at all and Sam didn’t know if he should tell the Autobots about this, about this development, about the damn shard of their home tech lodging itself into his hand and moving along his blood vessels!! He saw this now as he watched it go upwards along a major artery and slowly move past his elbow bend. It stopped for a movement up along his lower bicep for a moment, seeming to…. Be thinking?

 

 _Can this thing actually think?_ Sam wondered as he watched it before hissing as it gave another painful pulse and moved upwards again, continuing to follow the bloodline through Sam’s arm. _Just where the hell is this thing going?!_ Sam freaked out mentally as it disappeared out of view under his shirt. Going to the door of his room, Sam closed it and locked it, knowing he would probably be scolded if and when his mother found out. But he didn’t need her seeing this, didn’t need her seeing the black veins that popped up after the glowing shard moved through his body.

 

Sam pulled his shirt off and went to his mirror, moving to see what it was doing. It was in his armpit currently and seemed to have stopped again. That was an odd feeling as he felt the lump. Sam lightly touched it and hissed as it burned again. He clamped his arm down and held it, quaking in pain as it seemed to be burning away something in his armpit before it began to move again, this time along the inside of his chest. The human looked tearfully, as it was painful enough to bring forth the salty liquid in his eyes, at the small glow and black veins as it continued to move.

 

Sam was horrified as it seemed to stop and search for something, search his body for a ...suitable place to burrow itself? Maybe? Sam thought of this... this _thing_ as a scarab he had seen in a movie once that moved through a human’s body. It certainly was eerily similar in Sam’s mind! The human touched the spot where it was on his right pectoral and winced as it jabbed his muscles and moved again. There was a small bruise left behind from the trauma the shard inflicted upon him for just a touch! The shard seemed to go a bit faster as it moved across his ribcage and Sam gasped when it stopped again, but not for long. He felt that burning again and then a jabbing sensation.

 

He grabbed at the spot the shard was and cried out some as it was jabbing his heart! The damn alien tech was going to kill him! Oh, how cruel in irony this was!! The alien cube he used to kill Megatron was now going to kill him! Sam sobbed in pain as the shard jabbed his heart and began to pierce it, forcing his rips apart and making him drop down. He couldn’t breathe, it was hard to, so painful. Sam’s heart was beating in his ears, thumping loudly as he fell forward on his floor, hitting his head against the thin carpet that covered hardwood.

 

If it wasn’t for the pain in his chest, Sam would have winced at the pain in his head, but the jabbing and feeling of blood pulse everywhere but his heart made it feel like he was bleeding out. His eyes were blinded by painful hot tears as he gripped his chest, digging his fingernails into the flesh as he was now sure he was going to have a heart attack from this. The young human breathed in sharply and sat up for a moment before he dropped onto his side, limp and unresponsive.

 

His heart had stopped.

 

There was no life in the body of Samuel James Witwicky for almost half a minute. The shard in Sam’s heart settled into place within the folds of the muscle, shifting and forming to its new ‘home’ for the time being. Sam’s eyes stared lifelessly at the jacket he had been folding not ten minutes ago before the whole shard entered his body thing. And Sam continued to stare until the shard was ready then sent a powerful jolt into the heart, forcing the way the shard had come in close, sealing up the wounds it had inflicted and began to repair the fragile human body, but it didn’t do so _organically_ and therefore left behind the first remnants of mechanical life behind, the small beginnings of a shell, a core so to speak, for it to implant the last little bit of spark life it had.

 

It took a few pulsations and jolts from the shard before Sam registered he was alive again. He gasped and blinked, shaking as he was in pain and looked to his chest. It was bruised and bloodied from him clawing at it and from the shard having gone into his heart. He quaked and stared in fear and horror as he realized he had died for a few seconds, a few moments of his utterly short life had disappeared for nearly a minute.

 

Sam softly cried from just how utterly terrified he was, from what he just happened to go through. He was scared, upset, and not sure what to do with himself right now. But he knew one thing for sure. His thoughts of telling the Autobots were gone, he couldn’t tell them what just happened. They’d demand answers and he couldn’t give them! Also, who knew what else they might do to him to try and retrieve the small shard in his spark.

 

The shard Optimus had taken from Megatron’s corpse had been powerful enough to revive Jazz’s deceased frame after Ratchet found just a small hint of life still in the poor mech. If that large piece could do that, what could a small piece like the one Sam had now lodged in his chest be able to do?

 

And how many measures would the bots take to try and get it back from the young human who ended their chance of reviving their home planet? No, Sam couldn’t tell them, he just couldn’t. He was so scared what the thing was going to do to him now that it was in him, he couldn’t dare expect to tell anyone… no, it was… it as best to leave it be for now.

 

Maybe it wouldn’t do anything to him, Sam foolishly tried to make himself believe in a hope to delusion himself from the ten-minute horror show he had been in. Maybe it just would stay there until his  _natural_  dying day. He didn’t feel any more pain at this moment, there wasn’t much evidence something happened. Sam grabbed a shirt and covered his torso, looking to his hand for a moment and froze as there was now a dark black spot on the area that the shard had entered through.

 

He could have sworn there hadn’t been anything before.

 

Maybe he could pass it off as a freckle, or a scar, scars happen all the time. The young human breathed in and stared at it before touching his chest and shook as the shard gave another pulse. He curled up and whimpered at the pain. And it was a pain, one that lingered, one that wasn’t going to disappear quickly.

 

No this was one that made sure there was a remembrance of what was in him. Sam choked a sob down while covering his mouth and closed his eyes tightly, trying to will the pain away as the shard in him was starting to spread the cybernetic genes out towards the starting point of where it entered. It was best to start from where it entered. After all if one started solely on where they were, it was no use to create a whole picture at the end.

 

The Allspark shard was continuing to make the core around itself come to be, but it was also starting to make the outer shell of its home come to be in proper order. Starting with changing the hand it entered, start making a protoform under the human skin so the internal wiring could come out, to allow the gears and pistons and small mechanical pieces to be able to form and make itself in a proper environment that wasn’t flesh, blood and bone. Sam should have been careful of what he wished for, to be Cybertronian to understand those he cared for. For it seemed Primus heard that wish, no matter how silly the human thought it was, and was going to try and make it true, not just for Sam, but for another of his child who seemed far more wanting of the human than he dared to say aloud.


	2. Preparations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possessive thinking Optimus and mild mania thinking

Life Through A Mortal Death

**_The real question is not whether life exists after death. The real question is whether you are alive before death._ **

**_-_ ** _Osho Rajneesh_

Trigger warnings: Future gore and body horror in future chapters, death and a bit of violence will also come along.

Chapter 2: Preparations

 

It was mid-evening and the leader of the Autobots was up late. Feelings of anxiousness and excitement were filling him as he knew what tomorrow laid. His boy was coming to live with them. And Optimus did mean his. He had claimed Sam as his the moment he saw the young human, had placed his charge as Sam’s guardian when Bumblebee put out he wished he stay with Sam, which warmed his spark greatly since he knew that Bee would care for Sam’s well being.

 

Optimus, for whatever reason that was insane to their kind, literal insanity since there was no way to physically have this happen amongst their kind with an _alien_ race. Optimus chose the boy as his sparkmate, as the one who he wished to bind his life force to, even if he physically couldn’t do so. Sam made Optimus feel calm, possessive, happy and _alive_ whenever the boy was around. Something he had never really felt before. It was an old tale that the one who made you feel _alive_ and _complete_ was your sparkmate. Few ever found them and chose to align themselves with their closest love interests, but those that did, they were the ones who lived forever it felt like.

 

And for Optimus, that was Sam.

 

Optimus remembered venomous anger that had pulsed in him when his charge, Sam and Mikaela had been captured by Sector Seven. He wanted to squash the humans and get them away from what was his. Something he was definitely _not allowed_ to do. He had wanted to chase after them, reveal himself and remove any threat that was posed at his boy’s being. Yet he had to let it go, for his team’s sake, even if it pained him and caused him so much ire.

 

In mission City he went in near spark failure when Sam fell from the rooftop with Megatron attacking him. Optimus had sent himself shooting towards Sam to capture his boy’s falling frame and kept him close. He had fought his brother to keep Sam away, to keep his boy from being captured and exposed himself to Sam with the shaky plan of using the Allspark on himself to keep it from Megatron’s hold, if only to give Sam a small glimpse of how much the boy meant to him before he passed.

 

Yet he was alive, he and Sam were alive and his brother was gone… along with the Allspark. As much as it pained him that their chance of planet revival was now slim to none, there was now a change to survival and conservation of their species. Bumblebee was their last known sparkling to be alive, and he wasn’t about to let his charge be out of planet knowledge and distance if it was the last thing Optimus did, and given Bee was around Sam more than anything, Optimus’ chosen family unit was going to be at the base with him soon.

 

 **_If only the hours could go by faster_ **Optimus thought to himself as he checked the time. It was just past Eleven at night for humans and he should be trying to recharge some, but Optimus was a known insomnia sufferer, had been for some time and he wished he could rest at times. But being up late gave him the chance to catch up on dreaded paperwork, such as the ones he was able to focus on in hand.

 

While he and the Autobots had a base for now, it was rather lacking in the defense category and even being a proper base. They had a small amount electricity other than a small generator for now, they had some running water and some electrical devices for the humans, but the base was an abandoned Army outpost, aerial force outpost to be exact. The hangers were more than large enough to house the Autobots, but it didn’t give too much privacy in works of having their own room for things. Ratchet had a temporary hanger for the medical bay that was to his left, but it was almost like a corner than anything.

 

Optimus himself was near the middle of the hanger with a ‘barrier’ of sheet metal acting as walls to make an office. They had empty boxcars acting as furniture so to speak and Optimus hoped their other teams would come soon. He last heard of Prowl and the others being near Jupiter and heading somewhere in their direction. This, though, was with the last of their fuel source they used for the communicator and unless they could get another signal out with the human technology, they were shooting in the dark on plans. Optimus needed their numbers to rise more than it was, for safety was in numbers and they could actually get the base working with extra numbers. Wheeljack would be more than helpful, given he was an engineer and all. Which no architect, he could help plan out spaces on their base territory of half a square kilometer. A fair decent amount of land in the desert that kept humans out of the way, fully fenced and space to grow in.

 

Yet it took them nearly a year to actually get it acquired to be theirs, in their name. Sam had done all within his power to help them get it, even if he put his own school behind to be able to do so. It warmed his spark that Sam fought his kind so hard to treat them fairly and be able to give them a place to be their ‘home’ on this planet. Senator Keller also helped in that department when he could, but still it took time to get agreements to go through.

 

Thus why they were so far behind in actually making a base. They only recently were able to move in and try to get settled outside of being called to help with a few wayward Decepticons that arrived on the planet besides that of Barricade, Starscream and near abandoned drone Scorponok. Optimus had asked for Keller to monitor the scorpion if he could, last he could get out of the human was that Scorponok was still out in Qatar, waiting for retrieval from the deep sands.

 

Which meant that the Decepticons were staying low in profile, while good for the humans, it was also not so good since Optimus and the team had been in a few skirmishes with a few lower grunts they had to ‘snuff out’ unfortunately for the humans. Ratchet stayed behind on those missions, keeping in Tranquility with Bee since he couldn’t deal with any more loss of their kind. For Ratchet’s sake, they said nothing when returning, and kept the medic in his own mind that they just let the poor mech go.

 

Even if they all knew otherwise.

 

It was to be thankful that it had been two Earth months since the last skirmish had taken place, it seemed the Cons didn’t have any more arriving. Least, not _publically_ to where the Autobots were called.

 

Optimus sighed and rubbed his face some, those missions irritated him since he was further away from Sam on all of them. He had been taken across the planet for a few of them, being gone weeks at a time while Sam was in the dark on what went on. If he had the option, Optimus would keep his boy in his cabin at all times, near his spark, so he would know where Sam was and be able to be the only one in access to the human.

 

But it was not an option since he would kill Sam on transformation.

 

 **_But those are all going to change in about ten Earth hours_ ** Optimus grinned to himself and gazed to the datapad in hand, one that was to get a proper living space for humans on the base that was the barracks. Since their ‘liaison’ was going to be living with them, it was best that he be in a proper living place after all. **_I’ll have my boy here soon, and make sure he will be near me at any given moment._ **Optimus thought with a pleased smile. It was highly possessive thinking, something akin to Megatron’s line of thinking. An almost a mental sickness line of thinking, one that would pose Optimus as being a maniac.

 

But that was actual Prime coding, from the Matrix itself. Primes _had_ to be possessive given their sparkmates. The Sparkmates that the Primes were given were their life companions, as opposed to their a general companion most mechs had as an aligned, that would continue to keep them balanced. Be there when they needed to calm themselves and maybe even produce sparklings if they could, to continue the chance of the next Prime being made.

 

It was just too bad that Sam was human so the latter couldn’t happen.

 

Optimus was fine with this though, it wasn’t as if he was the only one with the chance to make sparklings, or the only one to claim a human as his sparkmate. His optics shifted to the side where, between a small crack in his ‘walls’, he saw the black form of the Top Kick that Ironhide took as an alt. mode. No, Optimus wasn’t alone in that matter, Ironhide had taken Will Lenox as his chosen.

 

And Will was already one that lived on base in the barracks. Though, at times, he stayed in Ironhide’s cabin to rest. The poor Captain had a terrible stroke of luck many months prior to him joining the Autobot Consulate. His wife Sarah had been happy with knowing her husband was going to be working near their home, their family, even if it was with aliens. It took her quite a while to get used to it, and she still freaked out a little given she was a stay at home mother and a not so social person.

 

But she got along with the Autobots intolerance to the point she allowed Ironhide to stay near Will on their farm and even had chats with him while Will did chores. The keywords had been _got along._ She didn’t have time to form a bond with others like Will had done with Hide. Sarah had been an unfortunate car accident that took her life while Will and Hide had been away on a mission.

 

Will had been devastated when they came back a week after it happened. His daughter was _still_ in social services. Ironhide wasn’t happy with the matter since Annabelle was now _his_ sparkling as well. Though it eased some pain as Will moved in with them since he couldn’t bear the thought of living at the farm alone. Will sold the place as soon as everything in his wife’s will was taken care of, aside the troubles of getting Annabelle back to her father.

 

It was another reason they were hurrying to get the living space for the humans up to code.

 

Optimus gave a quick optic scan on Ironhide and did note Will’s resting form in the back of Ironhide’s cabin. It was good that they were spending more time together, after all he was in a bet with Jazz and Ratchet that Hide would tell Will just _how_ important the human was to him. He bet that another month he would, if they didn’t get Annabelle back sooner.

 

Now Jazz was another matter altogether. The mech was still recovering from his wounds some from when he had been ripped apart. While he could do missions with them, Ratchet forced Jazz into light duty as soon as he was back since he almost died in Mission city. Optimus shuttered to think of if the mech actually died and his aligned found out. Poor Prowl probably would survive the death, but… Optimus didn’t want to think about it.

 

Jazz was alive, healing still as it was given the Allspark shard couldn’t do _everything_ they hoped it could. It prolonged the healing time by triple it should have been, given the circumstances. So Jazz was often berthridden for a few days at a time if he strained himself. The Prime hoped when Prowl came, them getting realigned would allow the small mech to heal faster. One always did heal when their sparkmate was around, aligned together or not.

 

Optimus sighed and rubbed his chassis lightly above his spark while thinking back to Sam. His sweet boy, curious of their lives and so willing to please and learn. Sensitive to their struggles and eager to help them better their livelihood. It brought a smile to Optimus’ face while he looked at the time.

 

It was three AM now.

 

And he was no closer to getting his paperwork done.

 

Sighing, Optimus moved to focus on the most important one in hand currently. He read over the conditions the humans wanted; mainly information as to why it was needed, how much was needed of the materials, who it was for and such, and he wrote back the answers for it so he could send the information to Keller as soon as he could. Thankfully these datapads, the several hundred he had, could send the information off it right to the human computers.

 

Optimus sent along a small schematics he drew out as well, basing it off a few ‘apartments’ he saw on the human internet. Given what Optimus knew, this was the first time Sam was actually moving away from a place he lived his whole life. Optimus wanted to make Sam as comfortable as possible, give him a nice living quarters even if the rest of the place was in shambles currently. It would be a good place to start.

 

Feeling accomplished to a degree, Optimus got up from his ‘desk’ for a small break and moved to go do a small patrol of the perimeter of their base. Walking the length, Optimus stared at the vast emptiness of the place, for miles one could see everything, everything and anything that would be coming towards them. His spark pulsed a little with hoping to see Bumblebee’s alt. mode driving up to them with Sam inside. It wasn’t for a few more hours yet, but… Optimus could hope that Sam would be there sooner. That he would have _his boy_ with _him_ sooner.

 

Optimus was tempted to call Bee to see if he would bring Sam sooner, give a false claim of con sighting in the area. Yet Optimus was sure Bee would just be on utter defense and attack whomever came near Sam instead of bring Sam to the base. So he kept that thought to himself while he continued his patrol.

 

Sam would come soon enough.

 

He would have his boy with him and Optimus would then be allowed to court Sam, given he was an ‘adult’ in the eyes of humans even if he was just a tiny fraction of Optimus’ age. It was ridiculous how different humans were if they were in a given territory. Look just how different Sam and Mikaela came to be. How vast their thinking was, how different their thoughts were.

 

Optimus was just glad that Mikaela saw Optimus’ view after a nasty run in one night when he brought Sam home. It was a difficult fight to get between Mikaela’s want to be with Sam and knowing that Sam belonged to Optimus. In the end, Optimus was victorious and Mikaela broke up with Sam. They were still good friends given that Mikaela was learning to be the human equivalent of Ratchet. And it pleased Optimus when he saw that Epps had taken a liking to the young human female and she in return.

 

Shocked Sam to the core, but it seemed that Sam wasn’t too surprised given how her last boyfriend had been prior to Sam. Still didn’t help the fact that Sam felt a small ounce of jealousy for Mikaela going for an older man. Though they could agree that Epps did wonders to calm the spitfire female with his laid-back attitude.

 

Optimus chuckled and grinned some, it was now five in the morning, closer and closer it was getting to Sam coming to him. His spark pulsed and twisted painfully with anxiousness eating at him as he continued to wait. By now he did three patrol laps around the perimeter and was on his fourth, watching the sun slowly rise as he came around the second corner slowly. From a distance he heard Ratchet get up and move to check on Jazz before Will came out of Ironhide’s cabin to go relieve himself in the barracks.

 

He guessed that he should socialize before his boy arrived. Otherwise Ratchet would get suspicious of him and do a scan. He didn’t want Ratchet knowing just yet that he, just like Ironhide, was going to court a human. It was hard enough for Ratchet to settle on the idea of a sparkbond being in place between Ironhide and a human who can’t reciprocate it.

 

No Optimus didn’t need that headache just yet.


	3. Leaving is hard to do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Miner body horror

Life Through A Mortal Death

**_God conceals from men the happiness of death that they may endure life._ **

 

__-Marcus Annaeus Lucanus_ _

 Trigger warnings: Mild body horror and gore

Chapter 3: Leaving is hard to do

 

Sam didn’t realize that he had stayed up all night until his alarm clock had gone off. He blinked and gazed to it slowly before moving to turn it off. The human breathed in and curled into a corner. His room was organized, packed up and tidy, but at the cost of it taking all night since he had been too wound up with anxiety from the earlier incident.

 

He couldn’t sleep and so he was so tired, his face looked strained and ragged, such as he had been riled up by something and then left to deal with the aftermath, which did happen. Sam held his chest while he felt that _something_ was going on in him. It was a slow, throbbing pain that was in his chest and his hand. Cradling his harmed hand to his chest, Sam waited for it to pass. He eyes closed while he tried to breathe through it, even if it was difficult.

 

In the past evening, after he had died, Sam had a pain attack like this every hour almost. It was sporadic and it kept him awake while he tried to figure out just why this was happening. Sam quaked as the pain spread up his hand, moving from his palm to his digits and felt like someone was ripping muscles apart and he gasped as it flared up in white-hot popping pieces. His nerves were on fire and it was a wonder he wasn’t going into shock from the pain.

 

He guessed it was the Allspark shard that was keeping him from doing so.

 

The pain slowly began to subside and numbness settled in. He shook and softly sobbed as it lingered in phantom pain, cold crackling feelings that set him off with how uncomfortable it was. The young human lifted his head and dared to gaze down to his hand. He gasped and stared at his hand was horribly bruised, as if all the blood vessels in his hand had been busted simultaneously and now left his hand purple and black looking.

 

He couldn’t show anyone this. That would cause panic.

 

Sam rose and moved to go and get dressed. His hand was still cradled against his chest, but it twitched after a moment and caused him to look down and try moving his fingers. Thankfully he could, even if it hurt a small bit. He could deal with that pain as long as he could keep it from being seen. Grabbing new clothes and throwing them on, he left a single outfit out so he could at least change, Sam grabbed a pair of work gloves his mom bought him for a ‘going away’ gift of sorts. Sam smiled, it was a nice touch, knowing he was going to work hard at his new home.

 

The gloves were standard working gloves, but the fact his mom got them for him was sparkwarming. Sam moved to take them out of their holding and then moved to slip them on, hiding his bruised hand and moved to start putting boxes downstairs. He might as well do some work while waiting for Bee to arrive if he wasn’t there already and waiting.

 

Sam was going to drop off donation stuff first before he and Bee came back for the items he would keep, which wasn’t much that Sam had found in his sleepless evening. He hummed softly and sighed as he looked out the window to the drive and saw Bee had yet to arrive just yet. Figures, it was quite the drive from the base to Tranquility and he was sure that Ratchet refused to let Bee leave right away.

 

That or, Bee being Bee, was on patrol before he came to Sam’s home. The young human didn’t mind though, gave him a bit longer to say goodbye to the old house. His parents weren’t there, unfortunately. His dad had gone out of state for a meeting and Judy followed her husband, leaving Sam alone to take care of his packing up. Mojo had gone with since Sam would be gone before they got back.

 

Such a lonely time Sam had. Sam had thought to how he had panicked last night and thought of his mom when he had locked the door, even if it hadn’t been needed. He guessed those habits were going to stay in him given how he had been raised.

 

 _Oh well, can’t change any of that now… just have to move on. I’ll still see them when they come out on their own._ Sam thought to himself and smiled. He had a picture he packed up that was going with him, a picture of him and his parents when he was younger and gap-toothed from losing his baby teeth.

 

He chuckled and had it placed carefully in his bag and he was leaving it by the door. Sam blinked after he made several trips up and down and noticed he had thirteen boxes for donation. He hoped Bee didn’t mind the load. It was one trip he hoped that wouldn’t take more than five minutes the latest before they would go.

 

The only Witwicky child moved to look at his phone when he got a buzz and blinked as he saw Mikaela’s name pop up with a text. He turned on the phone and gazed to her words _Hey Sam, I’ll be at the base later when you’re settled in. Is Bee coming soon?_

 

He smiled lightly to the comforting text. Even if they weren’t a couple anymore, Mikaela never fully explained why they still were very good friends that could talk about basically anything that came to mind. He was happy for her and Epps, even though he missed her and he would always have a special place for her. She was his first love, his first girlfriend and his first… physical partner.

 

He knew Mikaela had not been a virgin when he had gotten with her, but he had been and thus, he gave himself to the wild female who had taken his heart long ago when they were kids. Being in the same schooling class for all their life basically tended to have it happen. He was fond of Mikaela and he had a good year with her before they split. His first time with her had been sloppy, awkward, such a mess, but he wouldn’t change it as Mikaela had been a good teacher in how to be sexual and sensual with a partner.

 

Something he hoped he would be able to find again at some point. After the whole situation with him now was cleared up. He hoped the shard wasn’t doing anything else, he was terrified of the pulsations of pain, afraid that they would mean something else that was dire. Something that he was afraid the mechs would pick up when he arrived at the base, or when Bee arrived.

 

Sam blinked as he realized he had been lost in thought while he stared at his phone. Another buzz signified that Bee was on his way, just a small ‘comm’ burst that Bee would send if he was nearby and not sure if humans were. Sam peaked out and gazed to check and see if any other humans were out. He doubted it, only he was home and his neighbors had left for vacation.

 

Sam sent a ‘burst’, more of an emoji, back to Bee to alert that he was free to arrive up. He then shot a text to Mikaela, saying that Bee was just arriving now before he slid his phone into his pocket. The young human looked to his gloved hand and carefully pulled the one covered his…. Purple hand and signed softly at the sight. He was going to keep the gloves on, stating that it was easier to break them in if he wore them if Bee asked. He didn’t want further questions on what happened, not make to much suspicion on what happened to his hand.

 

There was honk from his drive and Sam smiled as his best friend in the bots and his guardian came up. He moved to go greet Bee and waved his gloved hands to the bot.

 

“Hey, Bee, drive over okay?” he asked and moved to take the glove on his normal handoff and petted Bee’s hood in a familiar, friendly manner. He got a rumble before he smiled as he heard Bee’s _voice_ filter through the speakers instead of radio garble.

 

 _-:Morning Sam, it was a quiet drive, but chilly. I guess winter is almost here?:-_ he chuckled while enjoying the pets to his hood. He enjoyed the touches to his hood as his companion was giving them to him. They were really good companions, they got along well since they were both young, pretty much the same age in some regards as to their societies, and had familiar issues they had in their own minds and such.

 

Bee was just ecstatic that he could talk with Sam normally since Ratchet fixed his vocals around a week ago. While he wasn’t supposed to strain himself with speaking, he did work on getting the static that laced his vocals now and again when he was changing pitches. Still, it was better than being a mute. He saw Sam wearing one of the gloves still and was curious about it, so he brought it up.

 

 _-:What’s with the gloves, Sam?:-_ he quirked and Sam blinked before chuckling to Bee’s question.

 

“Mom, she got them for me to use on moving the boxes since we lack a lot of specialty grip on our hands” he explained and slipped the one he took off back on and moved to touch Bee’s hood lightly with it, letting him feel the texture. A shiver went through the young Autobot at the feeling and he made a noise.

 

 _-:Eeeeehhhhhhh -skrrrrrish-:-_ he let out a static hiss at the end from the texture before clearing his vocals again, not yet using his vocals outside his radio in this form due to how new it was to him. _-:That is such a weird feeling:-_ he admitted and Sam chuckled at the reaction.

 

“Sorry, sorry, but you get my point” Sam stated and moved to head back inside to start bringing boxes out. “I’m sorry to say, but these boxes I’m bringing out are for donation, not moving, so we’re going to have to do a few trips,” he explained and flushed a little while Bee whirred softly and moved to change his parking position so Sam could load his cabin and trunk up.

 

 _-:How many are going with_ **_us_ ** _to the base?:-_ Bee asked as he saw a large number of boxes Sam was bringing out to go to ‘donation’. Sam hummed and shifted slightly. He thought back to the ones that were in a neat stack by the stairs.

 

“I believe around thirteen, I… I decided to start fresh and get rid of as much as I could with things I didn’t want nor needed.” Sam admitted and warmed as he felt Bee was scrutinizing him, “Look at it this way, less for you to haul three hours away” he pointed out and chuckled while Bee sank on his shocks some, “And I kept the important things that I would need since I still have a few things already moved to base form my frequent stays”

 

 _-:True, true. But this seems….. What is the word? Accessive?:-_ Bee quirked some. Sam huffed and shook his head a little.

 

“I’ve lived here all my life, this is my entire livelihood basically. Things from when I was a child that mom didn’t want to get rid of and things I forgot I had. So I just spent all night working on it” he said before a yawn escaped him at the remembrance that he _had_ been up all night. Bee moved to scan Sam and Sam shivered at the field before backing up to get more boxes, “Bee, stop that, I’m fine. I was anxious and antsy. Excited if you will about the move that I could not sleep” he explained and chuckled while getting out of range of the field scan. He didn’t want Bee finding what he may have in him.

 

Hell Sam didn’t know if the damn shard was still in him or not, but he was afraid to find out.

 

 _-:Sam, it’s not healthy to stay up so late:-_ Bee lightly scolded his charge. Being Sam’s guardian he did take it quite seriously. If he hadn’t been needed at the base for meetings and preparation for new arrivals and Sam, he would have been there last night. But given Optimus was having him there to help vouch for Sam’s necessity at the base and how it was needed to make proper housing for the humans, he had to be there.

 

Sam soothed Bee softly with a smile, “I know, Bee, but look at it this way. You don’t have to wait as long now for me to be finished and I can sleep at the base once we arrive” he told his guardian and companion. Bee sighed softly and seemed to accept it. Sam moved to start loading up the other boxes and hummed, “Might have to make two trips” he muttered while Bee made a confirmation noise.

 

 _-:You have a lot of crap:-_ the Camaro stated while Sam snorted the statement.

 

“Mmmmmhm, it’s why I decided to just donate it, lots of it is clothing, movies, CDs and books, things I don’t need really, I did throw a lot of things away and kept things for mom in another box” he told Bee and moved to lock up the house after putting other boxes inside. He then went to go and slip into Bee’s driver side so they could go to the donation drop off area for the local shelter and Goodwill. “Least they’ll be wanted by someone else,” he told Bee and smiled when his companion agreed with the statement.

 

Sam moved to drive up to the drop off the door at the shelter and moved to start moving the boxes from the trunk that was clothing for the shelter. He chuckled softly at the drop off help commenting on the number of boxes. “I’m moving” he explained, “And I decided to simply just get rid of a lot of unneeded items and let someone else have something that I once had the pleasure of owning”

 

The drop off hand nodded and chuckled back lightly, “Got any more?” they quirked while Sam hummed to the question, “I believe I might back at the house, I may be by later after I drop the rest off and go back to get the others” he explained and the drop said they’d still accept boxes up until three and then moved to give a slip that showed he had donated to them. Sam took it and nodded before heading off to relocate to Goodwill for the other drop-offs.

 

Sam had pretty much the same event with the other drop off help and ended up with a second slip by the time he and Bee were driving off. Bee was happy to be lighter than before from the weight of the boxes. _-:Who knew books could be so heavy?:-_ he whirred through his radio and Sam chuckled to the commented question.

 

“Yeah, the trees are out for revenge for the blasphemy with the weight of combined paper” Sam grinned and pulled back up to the house. He hummed a little and went to go and retrieve the other books while leaving the slips on the counter for his parents to use as tax write-offs. Even if the government gave them payouts, they still had to pay taxes and Sam wanted them to have a few things for giving him such a wonderful life. He looked to the time and saw it was almost noon and moved to tell Bee he’d be right back and needed to use the bathroom. Bee was compliant and settled down to wait while his charge moved to do his human waste business.

 

Sam moved to go and do his business of urinating, but he also wanted to… to check on his development. He was surprised he hadn’t had an attack, but he guessed it was from him moving around more than he had been earlier. Arriving at the bathroom, Sam discarded his work gloves. He hissed at the painful right hand while he peeled the soft, unworked leather off and glanced at the bruising. It was still purple, but now it looked swollen from him working and lifting the boxes. The movement had made his wrist swell along with the rest of his hand. It was almost twice the size of his left and he moved to quickly pee before washing and cleaning his hand, using warm water and slowly cooling it down.

 

It still hurt, but least it was clean now. He carefully used a towel on his hand and inspected the skin and bruising more. It started from the center of his palm where there was just a black dot that the shard had entered through. It went up along his fingers from his palm then down along his wrist. He lightly touched the dot and gasped as it sank inwards and he saw a small dent left in place. He stared at it for a moment then made a noise as the pain came back in his chest.

 

Sam moved to grip onto the sink some and then at his chest while his hand continued to burn, but not as much as it had been the previous night. It still hurt like hell though while the pain also spread upwards through the lower junction of his arm where it connected at his wrist. His fingers were oddly numb and he clawed at the porcelain while shaking and gasping to get air to process through his lungs. They were almost being constricted while he was just trying to wait for the pain the pass. It wasn’t easy while he gagged with being unable to easily process oxygen in this state. He coughed while sinking against the sink counter and trembled heavily in the attack.

 

Sam was crying openly by the time it was over and he had sunk to the floor with his legs giving out, unable to hold him up any longer while the center of his focus had been in his chest and arm. He laid there for a minute and whimpered while the aching pain dulled and he was now cooling off against the cold tiles of the bathroom. The human’s brown eyes opened and he gazed to his hand and he gasped as he saw the bruising had spread up along his wrist more and then down into his arm.

 

He also seemed to have cracked a nail, but…. It didn’t hurt at all. Sam blinked and moved to inspect the nail and knew it _should_ have hurt, should have hurt like a mother f-er, his mother would never forgive him if he cussed in her house even if she wasn’t there, and yet he didn’t feel a thing. He touched it and winced as it bled, but, not much else happened, no pulse of pain, no twinge of ache.

 

That was a cause for concern, but Sam didn’t have time to think or dwell on it. Bee was waiting, he didn’t want to keep him any longer since Bee _could_ scan in his house and find his heat signature. Quickly he went and cleaned the injury up, applied ointment and bandaged it before slipping his hands back into the gloves and went to round up the rest of the boxes to donate.

 

Bee seemed to have been waiting for a bit and was relieved when Sam finally came out, _-:Took your time, I was wondering if I should send search and rescue:-_ he teased and Sam flushed at this. He shook his head and packed up the rest of the boxes into Bee’s alt.

 

“Ha. Ha. Sorry.” Sam stated and seemed a little… different than earlier. His tone had changed a small bit to be a little more hushed sounding. Bee noticed but didn’t say anything. Given that Sam was moving away from home, Bee figured Sam found something to reminisce about. He just let Sam finish his work before they headed off for donation drop off round two.

 

More or less it went the same, but they had a different drop off person at the Goodwill, that was the only difference. Sam didn’t think much on the whole exchanges while he and Bee drove back to his house for the final loading. His thoughts wandered back to why he couldn’t feel anything in his fingers, why his fingernail didn’t pulse and give him something to scream about since half the nail was freaking broken off. Sure he was freaked out, his heartbeat shot up a small bit in the thought of what this development meant, but he couldn’t exactly bring it up with Bee, nor dwell too much on it.

 

Least not while he was with his guardian.

 

He would allow himself to freak out later when he was at the base, alone, in the barracks.

 

Bee, while in the midst of unknowingly feeling Sam’s mild panic attack with the pulsations of Sam’s heart going up, drove up to the Witwicky house for the final time today. He opened the door for Sam to get out after he backed up and packed. Sam seemed to not notice for a moment until Bee sent a light chirp of concern and confusion. _-:Sam? Are you alright?:-_ he questioned and moved to lightly vent out a soft blast of warm air to bring Sam out of his daze.

 

It worked and Sam was blinking and looked around before realizing where they were. “Shoot, sorry Bee got… got lost in thought” he said and Bee gave a concerned noise again while Sam got out, “Was thinking of how life will be on the base and such” he said in the half-truth manner while giving a smile to Bee. This caused the young bot to whirr and wiggle his tires a small bit.

 

 _-:You don’t have to worry about much Sam, we’ll do the hard work, you just do your studying under the others and myself and help with the human liaison stuff with Optimus:-_ Bee stated and Sam nodded. That was right, he wasn’t just going to be fully a liaison, the others were training him in other aspects. Medical with Ratchet s it wasn’t just Mikaela working on others if Ratchet was unable to do anything, Ironhide was going to help him in weapon training with Will and Epps, Jazz in his spy work, Bee in scouting and some hand to hand combat with Will and Epps.

 

It was going to be almost a boot camp lifestyle he’d have to get used to once he got there. Sam smiled at the thought. It would distract him, to some degree, of the whole...shard thing in his chest. His only concern, well he should be more concern with how he lost half a damn nail so easily and not feel the pain and how it was going to affect him more, was Ratchet. It was one thing to distract Bee, Bee was young still and at times didn’t really think about the issues that Sam might have.

 

Ratchet, on the other hand, was a whole different ballpark. He was the medic of the whole Autobot group and thus had his scans at the ready nearly at any given moment to just scan the others if something was wrong or if anyone even so much gave a small _cough_ of discomfort. So Sam… Sam was going to be extra cautious and try to not make much of a disturbance with the medic around. Hell, even the soldier boys were often aware of Sam if he was in discomfort before Sam even realized that he was showing it.

 

Sighing as he finished putting the boxes closer to Bee, Sam realized he needed to put his guard up at pretty much all given times. As much as he hated doing so. The Allspark shard was going to be throwing a wrench into the cogs of him being comfortable on base for…. For an unforeseeable future. Sam didn’t even know how they were going to do anything and he was terrified to think of what else was going to happen on base once he got there. He was scared of what the shard was doing to him and the fact he didn’t know how to even start bringing up the idea to the others, to the Autobots.

 

Sam smiled to Bee when his guardian opened his trunk again and Sam began to load a few boxes into the trunk, the smaller ones that didn’t need to be stacked nor had any reason to, before putting in one long one bag that was his duffle bag with his clothing and a few weapons that he owned thanks to Ironhide, Jazz, Will, and Epps. They all said he needed one of each weapon type to be sure he had them in hand or close to it when needed. Sam closed the trunk carefully then loaded the other boxes up in the back of Bee’s cabin.

 

Once he was all loaded up, Sam went to go inspect one more time to see if he left anything. He doubted he did, having been up all night, his room was swept, cleaned, his bed was clean too with fresh sheets, walls were bare and the only thing that he was sure that was the only thing to make it look lived there all his life was the empty furniture sets with a few individualized things on it. Those were for his parents to do with since Sam couldn’t haul them to base inside of Bee and he didn’t dare ask Hide to do it since they really were not needed. Sam had vacuumed the room as well and sprayed some febreeze and let the window be cracked so it wouldn’t be musky when his parents came back in a few days time.

 

The rest of the house was still clean, aside from a few spots where Sam was sweeping up that his boxes had been sat at, from when his mom had done an overhaul before she and his dad left. It was…. quite an empty feeling now that Sam was pulled out of it. He wondered what his parents were going to do now that their nest was empty. It was sad to think about, but…. It was also a little needed since Sam needed this opportunity to grow more and to be able to help the Cybertronians on a more personal level and actually _be there_ when he was needed in meetings.

 

No more rescheduling for Sam’s sake, no more holding it while Sam was being fetched, nothing like that. Sam would be nearby, at a moment’s notice… A-at least he hoped so. There was still the damn shard in his chest that was playing around with his internals. He could feel something was going on inside him, but what it was, under his skin, he didn’t know, nor could he guess.

 

He just had to make the best of it and hope the situation wouldn’t go rampant.

 

Stretching and moving to put the broom up after cleaning, Sam lightly touched the walls of the house and moved to the door. Lightly touching the frame as he moved outside and locking it up. He then slipped the key above the door frame. He had an emergency key for the garage door entrance, but the main one he decided to leave behind since he wasn’t there on the regular. A sad smile came across Sam’s face as he gave it a last glance before going to Bee, who patiently waited for his charge to finish up his ‘goodbyes’ to the only home he had known.

 

Bee understood, he didn’t rush Sam even if Optimus pinged him at least four times in the last two hours to ask where they were and how things were moving along. His caretaker was… a little impatient it felt like while Bee soothed Optimus with the information that Sam was finishing up at their location and they’d be there soon. Sam had just needed time to say his goodbyes before they came. Everything was ready to go, he just needed to wait for Sam to be ready.

 

It seemed to calm Optimus, and Bee could understand where the impatience was coming from. They were taking a little longer than originally ‘planned’ by the bots given how they were excited to have Sam live with them. Sam had done so much for them already, gave them a lot more than they could ever hope and he was giving them more of himself than they could ever believe that a human was capable of. Sam could have gone to college, he could have had a normal life. Could have left the Autobots when he had been given the chance.

 

Yet he didn’t.

 

He chose to stay and continue to help them, give them a better chance of life on Earth since their war had basically ended back in Mission City, even if the Decepticons were still at large and were often causing havoc. This was just as much as their home as it was the humans, given that Megatron landed their long before the humans existed really. In Sam’s mind, that was more than enough reason to stay and help them.

 

So Bee and the others were determined to help their human have the best life at the base they could give,  and it started with _getting_ him there. Optimus sent a pingback afterward and Bee noted a softer ‘tone’ to the ping for the mention of Sam and the Autobot leader backed off, letting Sam have his time. Bee reported that he didn’t have to wait much longer, Sam was now getting into his cabin and they were on their way.

 

This soothed Optimus more as he confirmed he would be waiting for the arrival of them at the base before Bee started up his engine and began to pull away from the Witwicky house. Sam watched the house disappear in the mirror one last time before he and Bee turned the corner to make it to the highway out of Tranquility. It would be three hours getting there and Sam was sure he was going to possibly fall asleep at some point, but he would try to stay awake.

 

He also hoped the damn shard would give him pain along the way. He didn’t think he could hide it, nor explain to Bee what was going on if it did happen. He still wore the gloves while he ‘drove’ Bee and neither of them mentioned it. Sam was listening to Bee’s radio in silence while catchy pop songs reverberated through the cabin before changing to a more upbeat song when the other one ended with the radio DJ chatting along about whatever the script told him to do.

 

Sam smiled and relaxed in Bee’s seat, watching the buildings and trees pass before slowly melting away to open highway and desert of eastern California outside of Nevada’s border.

 

 _Goodbye Tranquility, Hello Autobot Consulate._ Sam thought to himself as he passively drove Bee along with the interstate.

 


	4. One's arrival is never alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Psycho Optimus and his obsessive thoughts of Sam. Minor body horror.

Life Through A Mortal Death

 **_Life is rather a state of embryo, a preparation for life; a man is not completely born till he has passed through death._ ** ****

_-Benjamin Franklin_

 

Trigger warnings: Psycho Optimus and his obsessive thoughts of Sam. Minor body horror.

 

Chapter 4: One’s arrival is never alone

 

Optimus was, quite understandably, anxious. Sam should have left Tranquility hours ago, as according to his own ‘set’ schedule that he made privately and hoped that the others would follow without him having to tell them to do so. Yet it didn’t seem that his unspoken plans were paid any mind to as Sam was late with his arrival.

 

But it was alright, Optimus had calmed after his set of pings were answered by Bumblebee, telling him that Sam was locking up and had taken the last time to say goodbye to his old home. Optimus smiled to this thought. Sam said _goodbye_ to the human domain he lived at for his whole life until now. He said _goodbye_ to his human life.

 

 **_Goodbye. Goodbye. Sam is now mine._ ** Optimus thought with a soft chuckle, that Prime possessive trait flaring up with the thought. If anyone on the Autobot base was able to read his thoughts, they’d be disturbed half the time with how much Sam passed through the Prime’s mind. How much Optimus wanted the human, how much Sam consumed the Prime’s whole being with just _existing._ There was no thought that once Sam came to the base, Optimus would calm down his thoughts as Sam would be close by.

 

It just hurt Optimus when his boy was not near him and drove him a little insane and obsessive at the thought of Sam not being anywhere close by. Where he could see him, monitor him, hold him and keep him away from those who would dare cause harm. Like the slagging seeker he had seen roaming the skies the last time he had been in Tranquility or the lost Barricade keeping as low of a profile he could.

 

Both were on his list to rip into shreds if they dare get close to his boy again.

 

Optimus looked to the road to the entrance of the consulate, pulling himself from his thoughts for a moment. A murder or two was not in Prime’s ‘peace’ treaty work unless it was unavoidable. But that was before anyone knew of Prime finding his sparkmate on Earth. Before they knew that a human such as Sam could make Optimus feel the way he does when he was close by or not.

 

His optics slowly scanned the horizon slowly, searching for any sign of the yellow Camero form that Bee took as his disguise. There was no sign of them just yet. The Prime slipped into his office to do ‘work’ and distract himself, as much as it could. Which wasn’t much.

 

There was a thought that did cross his mind, one that was…. Abit more sane thinking. Yet sent him into a spiraling rage and caused his spark clench in pain and make his mind bring up twisted thoughts of capture and working to keep the boy in place near him.

 

That thought was _What if Sam had no interest in Optimus?_ It was an absurd thought, really. Of course, Sam _had_ an interest in Optimus. Optimus had brought Sam with him alone several times, he had felt the boy’s frame warm and his heart pulsate quicker with just being there, talking with him he heard the soft pitch changes that others didn’t pick up at times. The light prickling of pheromones humans gave off were easy to detect through their olfactory sensors when they vented in the air to cool their systems.

 

Sam always had some coming off the boy, even if the human didn’t know it. Especially when Optimus was near him. It was apart of their unformed bond, one that he hoped to fulfill when the time came, it was easy to do, Optimus had been thinking of human equivalence between them and tried to make up several plans to make the bond form. It would take time with analyzing Sam more closely, but he would get that bond to form between them. He had to, for his sanity and Sam’s safety.

 

He couldn’t lose Sam like he almost did in Mission City.

 

Optimus looked to a personal datapad he kept on his person at all time, he pulled it out of a storage space in his hip and began to read over it, scanning the contents he wrote and then began to write out further thoughts he had on the subject. Just as a distraction that would let him pass the time until Sam and Bee arrived. If he ignored everything and wrote down his thoughts, he’d be able to wait, be calm, and then enjoy himself with the arrivals. While he wrote, he made sure this passage he wrote was in the deeper recesses of the datapad’s storage compacity. Just so others wouldn’t find a personal journal section. Wasn’t as if it would come off his person, but he wouldn’t put it past someone trying to find it if they knew of it.

 

As he wrote, he looked at the time now and again and would do a quick scan to see if Bee’s signature was on the horizon. It usually came up empty, but on his fifth scan, Optimus paused when he picked up his charge’s signature. Feeling his spark flare and warm, Optimus got up and, as casually as he could, walked towards the front and gazed to the end of the road. He sighed in relief as they _finally_ arrived at the base.

 

The Prime moved towards the gate of the base and moved to open it so they could just drive in and not have to wait with dealing with it and so Sam could get out. He watched quietly, standing tall while seeing Bee pull on through and Sam peered out to the Prime and smiled to the larger mech. Optimus returned the smile when he saw Sam’s face and felt his spark ease and lightly pulse with the sight of his boy’s smiling face. He turned and let the gate close once they were inside and he hummed to Bee when he pulled up into the main base where the others were waiting.

 

Optimus had not seen the ping that Bee had sent out, nor knew he contacted the others to come to join them in the main section of the hanger, but it didn’t matter. The Prime walked up just as Sam was coming out of Bee’s cabin and Optimus blinked at the gloves before noting the boxes in Bumblebee’s back seat and put two and two together. He smiled while the others talked to Sam and greeted him, asking how the drive was, but Optimus was just focused on his boy as he stood there by his guardian and tried to answer the questions.

 

Sam, when Bee had finally gotten on the final stretch of the drive, was antsy while he saw the base. Antsy in two different sense, one being excitement for finally getting to the consultant and the other because he was now unable to really hide if he was to be in pain or if the others wanted to scan him for any reason.

 

Not that he didn’t believe they would unless they had the right concern to do so. They respected Sam’s privacy as much as each other and would only act if they had reason to actively go past that invisible boundary. Sam’s nervousness was just getting the better of him and Bee could only tell that it was just nerves of being at his new home for the first time on a permanent basis. As they got closer, they saw Optimus at the gate and Sam blinked before Bee whirred out an answer.

 

 _-:I sent a ping out for him and the others that we arrived:-_ he stated and Sam nodded while seeing Optimus open the gate so they could pull on through. The young human peered out the side window and smiled up to the Prime happily as they passed. He got a smile in return and Sam felt a bit calmer at that smile while looking ahead to the rest of the team that came to greet him and Bee.

 

“Hi, guys!” Sam beamed happily once he got out and the others greeted him back happily. He chuckled lightly while Ratchet and Ironhide muttered to one another when they answered at the same time and Jazz came up and squatted before him to ask how he was doing.

 

“I’m doing great, Jazz” he answered truthfully. While he was nervous and things of the similar nature, he was doing great in the other aspects. He was finally at his new home, with the Autobots and he was going to be a more active team member and liaison as he had been pulled for to do so by Keller over a year ago after meeting the man and having a full sit down for information about how he became entangled in the Cybertronian war.

 

“Glad ta hear it, lil man” Jazz beamed and Sam snorted at the ‘lil man’ comment. He turned fully to Optimus and smiled softly to the Prime and moved towards the leader of the Autobots. The Prime was quiet and calm, a soothing beacon in his currently chaotic mind. The leader of the Autobots leaned down to kneel before Sam and be closer to him.

 

“Sam” the Prime greeted. Sam smiled more at the light tone he adored, “Optimus” the human greeted back, getting an equally large smile from the larger mech. Seemed he wasn’t the only one happy to have him be on base finally. He moved closer to the larger mech and put a gloved hand on Optimus’ servo and looked up to the large mech’s bright optics. “I’m finally here” he chuckled and Optimus nodded.

 

“That you are” the Prime agreed. Optimus felt his spark stall for a moment when Sam touched his servo and he sighed happily after his boy spoke to him. Sam was finally here, at their base, he was home. _Home with him._ Optimus adored that thought, finally, his boy was home. He was tempted to scoop Sam up and carry him around, but he remembered Bee’s predicament and chuckled.

 

“I believe Bee would be happy to be able to get out of his alt. Mode and walk around. We can catch up after you move your things in, Sam” Optimus said and lightly ran a finger along Sam’s back, feeling his boy’s small form through the thin cotton shirt he wore. A small pulse went through him and Optimus just waved it off as him being able to touch Sam again and know Sam was there.

 

The human warmed at the touch and leaned back into it some before nodding. “I’ll relieve him and see how things are afterward” he chuckled, knowing how things could change on a moments notice. He bit back a yawn as he was finally relaxing after the car ride over. Not once was there an attack with Bee and he was thankful for it. But now his body was catching up on him with the fact he was downright exhausted and needed rest. Optimus caught the yawn though and chuckled.

 

“Seems the excitement caught up to you if you need some rest, Sam, go ahead and have it, we have more than enough time to chat” Optimus smiled and Sam nodded before humming and moving to go to Bee, “First, relieve Bee” he muttered his plan and let Optimus stand back up after the small conversation. He stretched a little and moved to get Bee going towards the barracks.

 

“Let's get unloaded and free you of your duties” Sam chuckled while Bee sent a harmonic, joyous radio blast at the statement. Sam got into Bee’s cabin so it would be quicker to get to the barracks. Sam would simply unload the boxes quickly and let Bee transform before he would take them to his new room for the time being. From what Bee told him on the way over, in an attempt to make some chatter between the silences, Optimus had been attempting to get some actual housing up for him and Will since they were permanent to the base. That made Sam smile a bit more. While the barracks were nice, nothing beat having an actual unit to yourself.

 

Optimus watched Sam and Bee head off before looking to his remaining crew while they talked about how exhausted Sam looked. He hummed and reeled back his memory look from just a minute ago and did take note in a freeze frame of Sam’s face, how youthful and sweet it was, was also strained, thinned from lack of sleep and such.

 

Had Sam stayed up all night? He frowned a small bit while Ratchet muttered about how the boy should just go right to sleep and leave everything until tomorrow after Bee was clear of Sam’s personal items.

 

“I told him to do so once he was done, Ratchet” Optimus stated, letting the medic sigh softly in relief that someone, other than himself, would attempt to give someone orders to rest and take care of themselves. And Sam _followed_ those types of commands.

 

 **_Unlike some._ **Ratchet thought bitterly and gazed towards Jazz as he was chattering happily with Ironhide while the weapon’s specialist was listening to the chatter. It had been a surprise that Will hadn’t joined them, but Ratchet remembered he was filling the paperwork out to petition to get a visit to his daughter so it was understandable. He would see Sam when he would see him.  

 

The medic looked to Optimus and saw his Prime having a… _look_ about him that Ratchet couldn't place. He had seem anxious prior to Sam’s arrival, for several days actually. Now that the human was here, Optimus looked much like Jazz did whenever Prowl was around. His optics narrowed slightly at the thought.

 

That wasn’t a good thing if their leader was attached to _Sam_ in that manner, to a _human_ in such speaking manners. It was bad enough with Ironhide doing so with Will, but their weapon’s specialist was always an odd duck as he heard humans put it. It wasn’t as if Ratchet really was _against_ them finding someone such as Will and Sam, but.

 

This was a big but, it was quite the worrying part that their partners were very small, fragile beings. It didn’t help that he watched, after the battle in Mission City, how the human healed slower than anything and took up to studying more of the anatomic differences between them, down to the molecular level. Like how the gashes they had, had taken weeks to heal, how broken bones took longer.

 

They were oh so fragile and the humans didn’t replenish their bodies as they did, they couldn’t fix internal injuries in their rest with their healing capabilities through nanites, and energon was often supplemented for oil just in case it was needed. But humans needed blood, _donated_ blood at that, they simply didn’t produce enough to keep themselves sustained if they bled out just a few pints. It was quite spark breaking how fragile the humans were, how they were easily harmed and killed with very low chances of surviving afterward without immediate interference, and even then there wasn’t too much of a higher chance some injuries were recoverable from.

 

Ratchet was fearful for them, and he was hesitant to admit he was scared to be around them at times due to how easily they were overlooked if one didn’t pay attention to their surroundings. Even if they were capable of taking down a Decepticon warrior with little help from anyone.

 

Also, with how Optimus was a Prime and the Prime coding was a bit _disturbed_ with their sparkmates before alignment, Ratchet worried that him choosing a human. They were often quite psychotic and obsessive, stalkerish to some degree by both Cybertronian and human standards, about those they chose. If one actually knew the history behind it, it made sense.

 

Still didn’t help that Optimus was acting as if he chose a sparkmate that happened to be human.

 

Such as their young liaison. The medic vented softly and shifted as he watched Optimus wander off to his ‘office’ and then moved after him quietly to see what he was doing. Out of everyone, except maybe Jazz, Ratchet was the most observant of the bunch.

 

He tended to note things others missed, like Optimus’ odd perimeter walk this morning. The medic had woken to the Prime leaving and counted him going around maybe six times before deciding to get up and make the other aware the medic was conscious. It was maybe Optimus’ way of getting his nerves in order, but Ratchet knew better.

 

And it worried him.

 

If Optimus _indeed_ chose Sam as his sparkmate, which he hoped to Primus was not true, then he would have to put in a very cautious order to the others, and anyone else who arrived, to be wary around their youngest human member, especially when Optimus was in the vicinity. It was a cautionary, only that, he couldn’t put in a full order without solid proof, but he was starting to get that feeling that it wouldn’t be long before Prime started to show signs that he, indeed, had chosen a sparkmate.

 

One of the more clearer signs would be to isolate Sam from others that Optimus deemed unworthy, or a threat, another would be to try to coerce the human to spend more time with him than really necessary. Another would be being aggressive if he found ‘unaligned and potential suitor mechs’ around Sam acting in a more than friendly manner.

 

He certainly didn’t need more injured mech in his underdeveloped medical corner. It was one thing they were hoping, now that Sam _was_ there, to get on the fast track to making into a proper medical bay. Their little liaison was able to get others to see his point after a round of babbling and ‘pulling at heartstrings’ he heard Epps put it one time. Sam was a remarkable person and he was glad to have him around. He just was afraid of Optimus if he had chosen Sam.

 

Primes were not one you got in the way of if their sparkmates were found and chosen. Ratchet made a soft face as he remembered Sentinel, Optimus’ predecessor, when he had his sparkmate. It had been a bit of an episode he remembered hearing, he chased the poor mech when the other had been in the process of leaving the planet for exploration since he had been a scientist. The previous Prime had gone mad with thinking another had _stolen_ the scientist and put several mecha out of commission for quite a few solar cycles, and had followed the poor mech to the supply base he had been stationed at until he got further instructions.

 

If that happened with just the last Prime and a mech who left the planet, how bad was Optimus going to be if something happened to Sam?

 

Ratchet shuddered slightly at the thought and blinked when Jazz gave him a glance and frowned.

 

“You see it too” Jazz stated softly while moving to coax the medic away from Optimus’ ‘office’. The medic compiled and nodded to the statement.

 

“I did… Optimus… may have chosen a sparkmate” he hushly told Jazz and the smaller mech snorted to the statement.

 

“Did, not ‘may have’” Jazz told Ratchet and the medic sighed, “I wanted to hope that he didn’t” Ratchet admitted to the smaller mech while Jazz hummed to him.

 

“Ah understand yer worry,” Jazz said and moved back onto the berth that had his name on it. He sat there and watched Ratchet get a datapad out and began to write on it, “It might be good for Optimus, but it is also bad in all sense of the word” the saboteur muttered lightly and moved to lay down. Ratchet nodded and hummed, he didn’t need a repeat of his earlier thoughts.

 

“My thoughts put in a simple statement,” Ratchet told Jazz in a tone that said it didn’t need further talking about just yet. They had other worries to ponder besides their leader’s instability. Jazz nodded and gazed to the ceiling some before he asked.

 

“How far out do ya think the teams are?” he was curious since it had been a few weeks since they had gotten in contact with Blaster. Ratchet sighed at the question and shifted to gaze to Jazz.

 

“To be quite honest, I’m not sure. They were quite a ways out the last time we contacted them. We haven’t been able to get another message out just yet and we’re not sure if they know where to actually go if they did follow instructions. Earth’s rotation since then moved and they might freefall somewhere outside of what they believe is where we are currently” Ratchet said and rubbed his faceplates lightly.

 

“Just wish we had Prowl here” Jazz said lightly, “With...with the situation at hand, we could use his logic chip. He’d be able to help round up Optimus too if he gets ornery with others being close ta Sam. We know we’ll have others here fer buildin’ and inspection in the upcoming weeks if tha plans go through.” Jazz explained his thinking. As much as he wanted his aligned with him, they needed him for more than just that. Ratchet sighed and nodded again.

 

“I agree, Jazz” was all the medic could say to the first lieutenant and saboteur. He didn’t need to add more, they both knew that it would be best to have more numbers when it came to their Prime and his infatuation with their liaison. He gazed to the open area when he heard someone walking about and saw that Bee was finally in his bi-pedal form.

 

“Speaking of Sam, it seems that he relieved Bee of his duty for the time being.” Ratchet muttered and settled back to write up some more things while Jazz just hummed and continued to watch and observe the youngest of their team.

 

Sam, for the most part, was glad to be left alone after he unloaded Bumblebee. No matter how happy he was to be at base, he was running on nothing. He hadn’t eaten, he hadn’t slept, he was getting a headache. Not to mention his hand hurt all to hell and he was afraid to look at it currently. He had a mild attack, very mild at that, when he had been moving things. He played it off that he missed grabbed a box when Bee had noticed his stalling and pained look.

 

Sam just adjusted his hold and moved on quickly to keep Bee from scanning him and checking him over. He hoped Bee didn’t mention it, it wasn’t anything to worry about and he didn’t need to be dragged to the medical bay this early in his move to the base.

 

 _Not that I shouldn’t be scanned._ Sam did admit to himself while he moved to the ‘kitchen/mess hall’ area of the barracks. He wanted some food, and given how Will was living on base, there was no doubt something for him to nibble on to get some sort of sustenance in his belly. A part of him was worried when he hadn’t seen Will, but Bee told him he was doing paperwork to see his daughter. It made a soft twinge go through him when he remembered Will’s loss and his broken family.

 

Sam was hoping that he could get Keller to help with what he could, but Keller was over national defense, not social services. He couldn’t very well order another line of work to hand over a child with no real explanation. Plus a toddler wasn’t really ‘national security’ level when it came to the top dogs, no matter how heartbreaking it was that one of their own was separated from his child.

 

The young liaison gazed to the hall entrance of the kitchen and knew that Will’s room was five doors down with his last name on it. Epps was across from him and Sam’s room was another five doors down from there. It was mostly done for ‘army standard’ since Sam was a ‘private’ status even if he was liaison. Sam complied for Will’s sake more of routine than anything and Sam knew they’d try and upgrade soon. He could put up with a small room for Will to be able to distract Lennox from his issues.

 

Sighing, Sam looked into the cupboards to see what was there, even _cereal_ would be appreciated as a temporary meal source. He gazed into the enclosed space and stared at the rows of boxes before he pulled one down that was a microwave meal that could be stored in a cool and dry place. Seeing it was a protein-rich meal, Sam took one out and put the others back inside before going to a utensil drawer to get a fork and stab the top a few times before popping it in.

 

He hummed and waited for the cooking time to pass before looking to his gloved hands. They still weren’t removed and he was quite hesitant to take them off, given how he knew they looked. Sam was afraid to look at them while outside his room, where he could _lock others out_ while he inspected. Still, he was curious how his injured hand looked and thus took a small peak at it before flinching back when he heard a noise nearby.

 

A door had opened. Sam moved to go and peak out where the noise had been and saw Will’s door was open and the man in question was coming out. He looked a little lost before gazing to Sam and stopped. The soldier did a small pause before smiling at Sam and moving quickly to the younger human. Sam smiled back to Will and nodded to him.

 

“Sam! Didn’t know you finally came” Will stated happily as he went to greet the younger man and put an arm around him in a small hug. Given they were in a small space, Sam accepted it and did the same.

 

“Haven’t been here long” he told Will to let the man know he hadn’t missed anything. “Mainly just cleared my boxes out of Bee’s alt. So he could could get out of his car form” he chuckled and Will made a noise that showed he understood. There was a moment of silence before the beep of the microwave went off and Will blinked to it.

 

“Ah, yes, food,” Sam said and scurried to get his meal. Will chuckled and watched the scrawny boy go and gazed upon him, watching him quickly snatch up his small, plastic bowl and peeled the top off with a gloved hand.

 

“You know it’s easier if you don’t have gloves on” Will chuckled again and Sam just ignored him while stirring his food up with his fork and began to consume the protein-rich bowl. The older man just stared as Sam inhaled the food practically and snorted. Poor kid probably hadn’t eaten all day with his excitement. Will went to sit at the table and grabbed his phone to check and see if he had messages.

 

There was a few, but they were spam messages from his email and old messages he saved. There was a new one from Epps that mentioned him and Mikaela coming up. Would be nice to have more people around for distractions sake. Sam just got there, but it was still just one body, plus… seeing how Sam was acting, the poor boy would probably go and pass out after his meal.

 

“Did you sleep at all last night?” the Captain asked as he saw the dark circles under Sam’s eyes and the strained lines that married his young face. There was a head shake while Sam was swallowing and then a pink tongue lightly snuck out past Sam’s lips. “No, I didn’t” was the response and Will sighed softly, motioning Sam to come to sit with him.

 

The teen came over and sat across from Will, finishing the last bits of his meal while watching the older man quietly. The captain stared at Sam for a bit before getting a finger at his face. “I’m not your mother, but you’re in my care now despite being of age and the cybertronian liaison” the captain said as he was one of Sam’s teachers. The younger man just gave a look while Will kept the finger up, “You will get to bed on time and you will get up when we set a time, alright?”

 

Sam watched Will for a moment and blinked before sighing, “Alright” was Sam’s retort before shifting, “When do we start the whole….’training’ business?” he asked Will lightly, wanting to know how long he had to _prepare_ himself.

 

“Epps and Mikaela are coming up tomorrow the earliest. When they arrive and had a day of rest we will start from there” he told Sam and the younger human nodded to his ‘superior’. Technically Sam had more authority than Will, but he was still young and way too inexperienced to know what to do with a lot of it. Thus he was alright with following orders when it was given to him. Lennox nodded back to Sam and closed the mutual agreement at that.

 

He then smiled again to Sam and watched the boy, “How was the ride over?” he asked the younger boy. Sam shrugged, “Not much to say, same ride over, only the last one I’ll probably make to get here for awhile” he said and chuckled, “Mom and dad are out in Colorado for a business trip in dad’s work so I didn’t get to say goodbye before Bee and I left, so it was pretty quiet back home” Sam explained and Will just nodded.

 

Maybe it was best that Judy and Ron hadn’t been at home when Sam left, given how erratic the two of them could be. Will had met them a few times and was always on edge with the two Witwicky household heads. Especially when Judy wielded a bat the first time they met because of how she and her husband had been removed from their house previously.

 

“So and easy transition,” Will said and got a smile from Sam, “To some degree” Sam replied and moved to go toss his trash and put the fork in the dishwasher. “I got rid of a lot of my unneeded clutter so I don’t have much to actually put away, just necessities for the most part and a few comfort items,” he told Will. The captain hummed softly, he had done the same when he moved to the base, after Sarah…

 

Will had a far-off look in his eyes when thinking of his deceased wife. He hadn’t gotten the chance to say goodbye to her when all was said and done. He had a funeral when he got back and hadn’t processed fully that Sarah was no longer with them. And the fight with getting Annabelle back wasn’t helping in his mourning process. He just thanked God, or Primus really, that Ironhide was there and gave him some sort of stability in this whole ordeal.

 

Will didn’t believe he could do this alone.

 

A yawn from Sam brought Will back to the present and he chuckled to the younger male. “Go get some sleep Sam, I’m sure you are going to enjoy crashing on your bed instead of the kitchen floor,” he told the younger human. Sam nodded and moved to go past Will, lightly touching the Captain’s shoulder in comfort before he headed off to his room.

 

Will was grateful that Sam chose to stay on base with him and the bots. It was a lot easier to train Sam and have that distraction with the younger male while he dealt with the social services. Plus he was glad that Sam didn’t fight him on the room set up. The farther from the kitchen the rooms were, the less likely Sam was aware of the adults, and Mikaela, at times. Lennox chose to make Sam’s room the furthest down for that reason, given how he and Epps had night terrors at times, it was safer for Sam to be down the hall.

 

And Mikaela being with Epps was another thing he didn’t need Sam hearing. It was bad enough that he heard it since he was neighbors to Epps. He just hoped the two would be able to calm themselves down long enough to take effort in training Sam and learning from the bots, while also working on the important base building plans. It was so early in everything going on at base that it was all running together because there was no ability to separate the three.

 

Or rather four, Will forgot that the bots were contacting their comrades that were lost in the vastness of space.

 

 _That’s another issue… we are lacking space for the bots as it is, what will happen if there are upwards of a dozen or more bots running around the base with no place to actually have privacy?_ Will thought to himself and groaned, rubbing his face while he wondered if he should make some coffee, or just go to Ironhide and see if they could go for a drive in the desert.

 

The later sounded more pleasing to the captain. Ironhide’s presence always soothed him and his frazzled nerves.

 

As Will contemplated what to do, Sam meandered down to his room. He sighed as he got closer and was able to open the door and go in. It was still the same as he left it, haphazard and a little messy since he had left in a hurry the last time. Sam closed the door behind him and hit the lock before moving to pull his gloves off. The left came off with a tug. His hand was pruned with sweat and had marks from the leather glove imprinted into his skin.

 

The right hand however, was going to be a different issue. Sam carefully began to peel it back, slowly moving to get the sweat laced leather up so he could pull it off slowly. He winced and made a soft noise while carefully pulling it away and winced as the purpling was now darker from him using his hand and he broke another nail. It wasn’t as bad as the one on his ring finger he had to bandage, but it was still not a good thing.

 

Especially since he still couldn’t feel his fingers nor the pain that was there from the broken nails. His hand trembled and he turned it over with his left hand’s help, cradling it carefully so he could see the palm. The black spot had grown in size, making him wonder if his hand was infected from the shard.

 

 _Great, last thing I need is an alien infection!_ He growled and lightly pressed the black spot like he had done. It sank in again and oozed. He gritted his teeth as it hurt and he trembled as he was genuinely terrified. _Did_ he have an infection!? That black looking ooze didn’t look good! He moved to the private little bathroom he had and began to clean the oozing wound and whimpered as it hurt more.

 

The panic that he was starting to feel caused him to make a light cry as he felt a sharpness in his heart where the shard laid and then a fire that spread outwards and down his arm to his hand. Sam quaked and sobbed in pain, curling as he gripped his chest and curled his wet, purple hand close to his torso. The young man gritted his teeth while he teared up from the pain and rocked himself against the sink, slipping downwards as the pain intensified and he gasped in hot air as he sobbed a bit more.

 

Why did this have to happen to him?! He didn’t know what it meant, it petrified him and he didn’t know who to turn to with this! He was beyond scared shitless to even attempt to go to the bots and going to the adults didn’t sound pleasing either because they’d send him to Ratchet and it would unravel slowly what was going on.

 

Sam was too afraid to do anything, but just deal with what was going on alone. To take the changes going on inside him and the pain that came with it. The young human curled up on the floor and shook, gritting his teeth tight enough to make his jaw hurt while he waiting for the pain to leave. His hand hurt for just a small proportion, but now the searing pain was up into his forearm.

 

He was blinded by the salty hot tears in his eyes that rolled down sidewise under his nose and down his cheek. The floor felt wet under his face, but Sam couldn’t do anything about it while he held his arm and chest as tightly as he could. His pain threshold was being tested it felt like while he laid there, sobbing and trying to keep quiet in the small bathroom.

 

He was about to hit his head against something when the pain began to subside. A sobbing relief sound came out of Sam while he laid there, still curled up into a ball and holding his arm tightly to his chest. The burning sensation lingered for a long while. Was he going to die again? Sam remembered the pain that came in his arm from then, but he also remembered it happening in his heart. It happened almost at the same time.

 

Yet this was just lingering flare-ups of his nerve endings.

 

Sam stayed on the floor for almost fifteen minutes before he got up slowly. His shirt had a dampness to it from him sweating and from his crying. He cradled his arm while wondering how to get his shirt off without disturbing the injured limb. It was more of a hassle to take it off than to deal with the dampness for now until the pain fully subsided.

 

Sighing, Sam shakily began to use the wall to get up from where he was sitting on the floor. He quivered and was too damn afraid to look back at his hand and arm currently. He didn’t finish cleaning his hand’s oozing, but he couldn’t bare the thought of another attack coming out of nowhere and causing him to be incapacitated on the floor.

 

Sam needed sleep, he needed it so badly. The pain was too much and he couldn’t even begin to think of what to do while he held his arm close still. It felt almost broken and scolded by a hot liquid at the same time. He whimpered and shook as it gave a painful pulsation before crawling onto the unkempt bed.

 

He needed sleep.

 

Sleep heals everything. Maybe it would heal whatever was going on in him. And he’d wake up normal again.

 

Sam hoped this was part of the case while he hid under the rumpled comforter, curling into a ball again and laid his head on the pillow. His eyes grew heavy before he slowly began to calm down enough to rest. The brown eyes slowly closed and Sam finally began to sleep.

 

With his sleeping body not resisting anymore, the shard began to speed up the changes in the hand. The numbing helped as Sam didn’t react, didn’t fight what was going on. There was little Sam was able to do with what the shard was doing, but it helped that sleep kept him from interfering with the progress.

 

The shard sent pulsations through the established line and slowly crafted more configuring pieces of mechanical gears and wiring into place, making them from scratch was hard. It was one of the reasons for Sam’s pain. The shard could do little about it, just move as quickly as it could to make the numbness spread as the human body’s nerves burned away and left the boy with no sensation whatsoever other than the feeling he could move the limb.

 

The process was slow, it would be long and painful, and Sam’s worries, and hiding was just beginning. When he woke, he would be in more of a shock than before and have a harder time hiding his changes from the multiple eyes that would be on him.


	5. Confliction of thought and want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Body Horror

Life Through A Mortal Death

 

Trigger warnings: body horror

 

Chapter 5: Confliction of thought and want

 

The Prime gazed to the human quarters once the sun went down. Lightly, without making it too obvious, he scanned for a familiar form inside for the fourth time in an hour possibly. He found Sam’s quarters at the end of the barracks and smiled as he saw the small heat signature through the wall that was Sam. His human was resting on the small human berth. Optimus gave a small scan over his boy’s form from where he could and hummed as it came up as ‘clean’. 

 

Well as clean as it could get for the Humans in the Cybertronian Consulate. 

 

There was a signature of the Allspark, but since Sam had been in presence of the Allspark over a year and a half ago, he always had a percentage of signature of it that lingered. He had brought this up back when he and the others found Sam’s frame with the signature and worried over what it could mean. The only conclusion was that since humans were ‘absorbent’ Sam’s body had taken in all that energy into his small frame. 

 

While it was worrying some to all of the Autobots that were planetside, as Sam took in the equivalent amount of energy as to a small atomic bomb’s worth of radiation, they had observed him for the past year and found nothing really had changed in Sam’s form. Even Will, Epps and Mikaela had residual levels of the Allspark energy. They were doing just fine and seemed to not have anything going on with them. 

 

Though Sam had higher levels and thus was scanned a few times frequently. Nothing seemed off. Ratchet theorized that since he had held the Allspark when it destroyed Megatron, a lot of the energy backlashed into the human and just stayed there. Unable to transfer from his being to anything outside of him. He was just a sponge that couldn’t release that high level inside him. As long as it didn’t affect Sam’s body in say make his hair fall out or his skin falls off, he was okay. 

 

Optimus did notice that it was higher than usual, but even this wasn’t out of the ordinary. When Sam’s form was on low energy, the Allspark energy seemed to be more  _ available _ to read. The Prime sighed softly as he settled down and moved to shift into his alt mode to rest for the time being. Like Sam, Optimus was running on low energy and thus needed a good recharge cycle before any future planned events happened. 

 

His processor was full of information that needed to defrag and shift out the unneeded garble while the rest was stored and filed away in the needed categories. He hummed and settled into his alt mode before going to park at the edge of the hanger near the human barracks, to be closer to Sam without disturbing the boy. His engine rumbled softly as he could feel the residual Allspark energy practically coming from the wall between them. 

 

Felt as if he was in communication with Primus again. Like so long ago when he was younger and their planet was still alive. He would have long sessions of communication with the creator of his species and learned all he could while his brother was busy with his own duties and personal tasks he chose to take on. Back when there was peace. 

 

Optimus was also soothed with the knowledge that his sparkmate was close by, in the same general area as he and those he trusted with his boy’s life and care. The Prime scanned the wall between him and Sam and if he was really tempted, which he was, he could open the window that the barrack had and touch his human. He was glad for this at least since Sam sometimes did fall asleep outside of his room and Will wasn’t always able to help get him inside. If the barracks had no windows, it would be a bit more difficult to be able to have humans around since at times there was no connection that went into the barracks given there was a signal scramble around the base that hadn’t been found yet. 

 

Why there was a signal scramble on base was as boring as it got. When the base had been running as a proper military base, soldiers had brought equipment that wasn’t permitted on base and so they had to make sure there wasn't interference with the base equipment. Nothing more, nothing less. It just hadn’t been taken when the base was abandoned, thus it activated when the weather got a little wonky. 

 

Optimus stared at Sam’s heat signature quietly while he settled down in a restful state. He felt something was a little off with Sam’s signature but just brushed it off as the Allspark signature messing with him since he couldn’t get a pure reading due to it. That was the problem with their Cybertronian technology, it over blew all the Human type of technology, and physiology as well gave how it caused them to come off with Cybertronian readings at times, even though it was very clear that they were not Cybertronian. 

 

Everything with Humans was complicated, curious, and fascinating, but for the most part, it was complicated. 

 

Optimus decided to just leave Sam alone while his boy rested. He settled beside the window so he could be close to him. A soft sigh of hot air slipped out of his vents while he did so. It was comforting to Optimus that Sam was so close, close enough to touch, to have at hand if he wished. He wanted to start courting his boy as soon as he could, but he had to wait, the base was still in shambles and atrocious, it was not a proper place to even attempt to think about courting. 

 

He wanted to make sure Sam was comfortable and saw that Optimus was doing everything he could to make sure that he was in choosing to live with them instead of the life he could have had. In the morning he was going to contact Keller and see about starting the preparations for making the human’s home space, and the Autobot living quarters in extension, more up to date and functional. 

 

It was just a matter of time before they got another signal out to see how far their lost teams were away from their location. They needed space for them, private quarters and actual tech to work with, labs to properly make advancements on the combination of Cyber-human technology mixes, and a  _ proper medical bay.  _

 

Primus, he couldn't’ stand Ratchet’s not so subtle hints sometimes. He got it the first ten thousand times. He was working on. Honestly, he was, even when he was obsessing over his human, Optimus did work. He was still Prime, he was still the leader of the Autobots, he was doing all he could to make them comfortable, trying to get it so they could actually make the base theirs and expand on the base frame. 

 

The hold up was the other fragging humans that were believing them to still aiming to take over their damn world. Honestly, if that was the answer, he would have just let Megatron go on his rampage, not fight his brother as he had. But some still had in mind they were invading, which kind of was true, but it was temporary, as temporary as it was to Cybertronians, might be several hundred years for humans. There was still many of their kind that was hiding out on the planet and they didn’t know exactly where they could go and have them meet up. 

 

They couldn't’ exactly fall back into space, that would leave the planet vulnerable, and not many were still aware of just how  _ smart  _ Starscream was. Even if he was a cowardly backstabber, he was a smart mech, scarily smart. He was a bright mech who believed so much more than just overthrowing Megatron. His ideas became corrupt over time and caused him to appear desperate and chaotic. Being around Megatron for so long, or lost in space for so long like he was sure the seeker had been, alone and vulnerable, was enough to make anyone crazy after a long period of time.

 

It was sad that the seeker was choosing to be alone and keep up his plots to take over the Decepticons now that Megatron was gone. The seeker had been one of Optimus’ people once, back when he and Megatron were still working to a better Cybertronian development. 

 

Sighing, Optimus shook the thoughts away so he could rest, he needed rest, just as much as his human did. It was going to be a headache tomorrow as it always was in agreement meetings. 

 

Optics gazed to Optimus after he finally settled down to rest. A muttering from Ratchet was all that could be heard while he went and was checking on Jazz as the medic was finishing up for the night. He didn’t miss the blatant action of Optimus moving to rest partly outside of the main hanger since that was where  _ Sam  _ was. Ratchet wanted to try and keep the illusion up, but… it was just as Jazz said, Optimus had chosen his sparkmate, had  _ found  _ the one that made him who he couldn’t be without. 

 

And that person was Human. 

 

It made his mind twinge at the implications and he sighed, rubbing his face while he was thinking of just what he could do. There had to be a talk with Optimus, soon. As soon as Prowl was planetside and aware of the situation. They needed to intervene and talk with Optimus, try and make him see reason. As much as Ratchet was happy that Optimus found someone to make his aligned, the medic also knew how terrifying it was at the same time. 

 

As earlier thoughts passed through his mind, humans were oh so delicate and fragile. They were scarily small and easily broken, killed, harmed. They were emotion driven and they didn’t live even a small fraction of their lifetime. What would happen to Optimus if he made Sam his? Tried to formulate a bond with a human with no spark? IF he did and Sam  _ died  _ then what would it do to Optimus? 

 

It was these thoughts that terrified him to the fact that Optimus was doing things such as this. Him and Ironhide, they were doing dangerous things. More dangerous than they thought was right. And they were not seeing  _ reason  _ with it. It frustrated the medic and he just wanted to grip his helm and scream with how much it was making him frazzled and scared him. 

 

They couldn’t lose Optimus, they could lose Ironhide, they could not lose  _ anyone else  _ as it was. Their numbers were so low as it was and they were running just on maybe two percent of their original population numbers. They were nearly extinct, there was no survival rate for them, there were no sparklings, there was no energon. Nothing. And their slagging leader was doing this crazy move now!! It was enough to make Ratchet want to cry with how much it hurt him. 

 

A servo on his shoulder made Ratchet jerk out of his thoughts and he gazed to Jazz to see the smaller mech giving him a look of concern. He didn’t realize his field woke Jazz up from his thoughts consuming his processor currently. Ratchet brought a servo up to his face and he trembled, letting Jazz know silently just how much everything was getting to him. He wished the others were there, he always felt better when their comrades, their  _ friends  _ were closer. 

 

He also missed his sparkmate dearly. While not aligned with him just yet, given the war started when they had been courting, Ratchet so desperately needed his sparkmate’s field close to his own, to soothe him when he got like this. Emotionally invested and unable to talk about it openly because it wasn’t fully in the open yet. He couldn’t bring forth this situation to the humans while it was still developing, and he didn’t know how to exactly tell them without offending the humans. 

 

Ratchet leaned heavily onto the berth where Jazz sat upon and shook heavily, quaking while the small mech wrapped his arms around the medic, stroking the frazzled metal as Ratchet let out a warble and soft click of his vocals. The small mech crooned and held the medic to comfort Ratchet. He understood just how invested Ratchet was with everything and how much he cared, despite how much he tried to make others think differently. 

 

He was a conflicted mech, and he had to be. Which wasn’t fair to the medic who had to see more lives lost than he would care to ever admit. 

 

Jazz sighed and continued to comfort Ratchet while emotions the medic had kept hidden, and thoughts he processed more often now with the lack of war being an issue to distract him, got the better of him. He felt the medic’s plating rattle and shift with his field pulsing and his vents hitching. Catching intakes that he couldn’t entirely process right away and got caught before they brokenly came out half processed. Jazz crooned again and stroked Ratchet’s back as the medic let out the emotional build-up in the solitude of each other. 

 

They were both alone without their sparkmates, surrounded by mechs who didn’t know the feeling of being cut off from the one they adored. Not entirely at least. They chose the humans, the humans weren’t hard to get to, but Ratchet and Jazz were lightyears away from Prowl and Wheeljack, the other halves that balanced them out, make them feel complete, safe, and comforted in the best and worst times. It was more than difficult to be away for so long, knowing they were coming towards them, but unsure when or how, or if they were even going to make it. It was taxing on their sparks and minds. There was only so much they could do currently with lack of distractions to keep them from thinking about their mates. 

 

Jazz tightened his hold on Ratchet as his own mind started to make him miss his logic driven aligned. He poured his focus on Ratchet and comforted the medic while pushing thoughts out of his mind. The first lieutenant had more practice making thoughts leave him, emptying his processor and making him not process anything for a given amount of time. He couldn’t be a saboteur if he constantly thought and dwelled on certain things he couldn’t change or confront others with at the current time. 

 

Once Ratchet was able to calm down enough to get a hold of his emotions, the medic pulled back and gazed to Ratchet with a frazzled look and the small mech cupped Ratchet’s face in his servos and stroked the tormented looking metal to further soothe the medic. It was nothing sensual in the manner, they held no feelings for one another as they did for their sparkmates, they were comrades so battled with each other on more than their fair share of occasions, and had saved one another more than needed to be said. This was just apart of them being comrades, giving comfort, soothing each other when it was needed. 

 

It helped, Ratchet calmed down further and leaned to the touches, moving to lightly cover Jazz’s servos in his own and showed he was alright. He stroked the back of the smaller mech’s servos with his thumbs and lightly slid back when Jazz lightened the grip around his face. A slow, soft ‘exhale’ of air escaped Ratchet and he gazed to Jazz with appreciation, which Jazz smiled back to Ratchet for, showing that he was glad to help Ratchet. The medic smiled back to Jazz and lightly touched the smaller mech’s shoulder and pushed him back carefully onto the berth to get him to rest. 

 

There was no need for words to be exchanged, nothing needed to be said between the two of them. They knew from millions of years as comrades how to read each other and speak with actions instead of words. Jazz laid down and watched Ratchet pull back to go and settle in for the remaining time of night, to get a little bit of recharge before the meeting. The small mech wasn’t against a bit more rest either, as much as he hated being still and how he was still recovering after his near death, he wasn’t against resting when it was needed. 

 

It was in his rest, he could imagine he was with Prowl, curled up close to his doorwinged mate and have him chase the shadows away that kept Jazz up at night. In his dreams, he wasn’t alone. 

 

Morning came far quicker than anyone would like. From the medic and saboteur who hadn’t gotten more than a few hours, to the one human who was fighting to get up with a dead arm that had painful cackling feels shooting up and down the length of it. Sam stared with almost catatonically dead eyes at the floor as he got untangled from his comforter. He couldn’t feel his arm, couldn’t move it, couldn’t even lift it from the shoulder. 

 

It was like he had slept on it, which probably was the case as he had held his arm all night and woke up on his chest. He groaned as he used his other hand to go and get to the bathroom, carrying the numb feeling limb to it while trying to wake up from his twelve-hour sleep. 

 

Sam could have slept longer, a lot longer, but the urge to pee was far too great to ignore. He grumbled as he got to the bathroom and started to fumble with his pants with one arm. Half awake, he didn’t notice what his arm and hand looked like currently and was not entirely coordinated with half-thoughts going through as he got himself free enough to relieve himself. A sigh escaped Sam while he felt better and blinked with the number one thought going through his body was taken care of and then number two began to process. 

 

He cleaned up and tucked away from everything before flushing and moved to clean his hands. Only to have one whack against the sink and make him jump and hiss in pain as the sensation made his nerves flare up and feel like something was busted. Sam gazed down to his arm and brought it up to the sink. He stared at it and made a fearful look as it still looked back, not swollen as it had been thankfully, but it was definitely infected looking. 

 

His palm was gooey from where he had pushed it in, black, and it had a small scab from where the wound covered over. He was sure it would ooze again and he was moving to take e bandage off his finger that had the broken nail. It was black as well and he was sure he was going to lose the nail. The nailbed was nasty red looking and, even though it didn’t hurt, it looked cankerous. 

 

The thought of him losing the hand was terrifying because of the infection he was more than sure he had. But still, he couldn’t go to anyone with it. Head to deal with it himself. He was just thankful that every barrack room had a first aid kit and medical supplies. When they first found the supplies, they weren’t sure if it was an accident or intentional. Whichever it was, Sam was thankful now as he was pulling out a bottle of peroxide to dump over his hand. 

 

He winced and gagged when the liquid turned completely white and foamed up from the point of impact. There was a look that came across Sam’s face as he stared at his hand were a mix of horror, wonder, fascination, and dread as he turned the sink on to clean the peroxide off and check the open point of his hand he had poked and made ooze the day before. He gasped as the wound was now open and he could see the skin peel back with the water. 

 

“Oh god…” Sam muttered in horror, “Just what type of alien infection do I have?!” he asked himself in a panic. He could see his muscles that his palm skin usually hid away and he saw they were red, angry looking things that he could now twitch with his fingers. The young human breathed quickly and trembled. 

 

It was like snake venom with how quickly it caused this to happen. Sam was beyond scared shitless as he was watching his skin come off and his damn muscles were visible now. He continued to carefully clean it, grabbing rubbing alcohol to pour over the wound now and hissed as he felt the stinging sensation once the open wound got hit with the chemical. Tears brimmed his eyes while he gritted his teeth again. His jaw hurt and he whined some while kicking the door close behind him so the noise wouldn’t pass through the walls. 

 

His teeth ached along with his jaw and he moved to grab a cloth to bite on as he went to treat his wounds further. He remembered someone telling him how teeth would break if they were clenched too hard. Like hell, he needed more pain to deal with while he was dealing with an alien infection in his hand. Sam poured more alcohol over the wound and keened as he bit the cloth tightly, drooling into the fabric as he felt the nerves throb in agony. 

 

The young human leaned to the sink and cried while biting the cloth still. He held his hand into the sink and waited for the pain to ebb some so he could continue to work. He shook and quivered while he was sure he was going to get looks later when he ventured out of the barracks. Sam turned his hand over so it could ‘drain out’ whatever was in it and gazed to the other side of his hand. His half missing fingernail finger was now missing the whole nail. It bled slowly as the nail no longer blocked the vessels. He blinked and looked for the nail and couldn’t find it in the sink or anywhere. 

 

Did it go down the drain?! Sam turned the water off and peered into the hole and saw only darkness past the metal catch inside the sink. He groaned and gazed to his bleeding finger. He squeezed just above it lightly and made a face behind the cloth as the blood looked darker than he believed it should look, but then again, most blood looked dark. He applied pressure to try and slow the bleeding down before putting rubbing alcohol over the finger and cleaned it up as he had done with his palm. The young human didn’t think much of what was going on now as he was cleaning up, moving to get some ointment and apply it liberally on the open wounds. 

 

He stared at the clear painkiller while grabbing bandages and had a plan to cover it up. Sam carefully wrapped a band-aid around the fingernail-less finger and carefully then to try and wrap the rest of his hand with a large bandage roll. After having some of it used on him from mission city, Sam had a bit of experience using the bandage, or gauze as he heard someone call it before. Though he believed gauze was just a packing for the bandage to hold in place. 

 

He was distracted with his inner debate between gauze and bandage that he didn’t notice his hand was getting wrapped up in an ear professional manner that wasn’t his own doing. The shard noticed what Sam was doing and, despite being a shard it had some level of sentience given it was a creation of Primus, helped Sam cover his wounded hand. It was covered and Sam held it before he came back to himself after coming to the conclusion that gauze was no bandaging. 

 

The young human looked to his hand and saw it was wrapped up professionally and looked nice. He looked like a burn victim to some degree, but he was sure that he wasn’t going to get anything else into his infected hand. He wasn’t going to question how it got bandaged, he already had lots of things to think about, and to worry more about than his hand getting bandaged up. He pulled the cloth out of his mouth and groaned as his jaw hurt and he moved to clean the sink and put the medical supplies away after being finished with them for the time being. His hand throbbed slowly as the pain killing ointment helped soothe his pained nerves. Sam gagged softly as he took the dead skin that came off his hand and went to flush it. 

 

He dared not to put it into the trash, that was not going to be nice to explain if someone found it. Or smelt it. Yeah, flushing it was the best option and so it went to the toilet and swirled away to the septic tank. Sighing once that was done, Sam moved to clean himself up with a wash of his face, comb running through his hair, a brush of his teeth and some deodorant raking itself under his armpits before he took his clothes off and tossed them to the hamper he had. A few clothes he had out were put into the small dresser that his parents bought for him to have on base since, at the time before his move, he had been going to the base for several days on end and thus needed changes of clothes before he went home. 

 

Coming out of the bathroom, he went to sneak past the window and grab his clothes before the bots caught his nude form or someone walked in. A white t-shirt, slightly baggy jeans with a belt and a dark colored jacket to cover his bruised looking arm, which he noticed as he got dressed since his hand was bandaged up it stood out against his pale skin. Sam sighed and was just glad it was autumn, chilly and an excuse to wear layers. He was almost presentable now, he got socks and ratty shoes on before grabbing a pair of form-fitting gloves that would keep his hands warm and go with his outfit. 

 

He looked to a small mirror in the room and saw himself presentable, though paler than he knew himself to be. He sighed and moved to slap his face lightly with his hands to wake himself up a bit more, give a bit of color as well. The young human was about to head out when there was a knock to his window and he blinked lightly. 

 

Who was knocking on his window? 

 

His heart pulsed a little while wondering what had been seen through the glass. Sam moved towards the window and moved to open it up and peered outside as he half leaned onto his bed. He blinked and smiled as he saw it was Optimus and waved to him. 

 

“Morning,” he said softly while Optimus smiled back to the human. 

 

“Morning Sam,” The Prime softly to his boy as he gazed adoringly to the youthful male. He kneeled down lightly to the small being before him. “We were wondering if you were ready to come to the meeting” he explained to Sam and Sam blinked some.

 

“Meeting?” was the response and Optimus nodded, “Yes, Senator Keller is on a video call with the others and we need your presence for a few topics on the table,” he said and watched as Sam moved to come through the window and stand before the Prime. It made the Prime chuckle softly and held his hand down so Sam could move upon the open space of his palm. 

 

He waited until Sam clambered up and held onto his thumb before moving towards the only screen on base they could use to talk with Senator Keller. “What are the topics?” Sam asked and Optimus looked down to his boy while they walked. 

 

“Upgrading the base to a more habitable condition, getting supplies for our comrades, finding spaces where out comrades may fall in, and upgrading the human space from barracks to actual apartment-style living quarters,” Optimus told him while Sam smiled in a soft manner and nodded while staring at the group in the meeting area. 

 

“I have our liaison, John” Optimus said while Sam rolled his eyes as John Keller chuckled to the statement,  _ “I can see that Optimus. Morning Sam”  _ The senator greeted while Sam waved to the older man. 

 

“Morning Senator,” he said respectfully while he was being held by Optimus. Will was being held by Ironhide.  _ “Well, now that everyone is here, let's get onto the topics at hand. Hopefully, we’ll come to some agreement by the end of it”  _ he said while the other humans in Keller’s end were muttering and gazing to Sam, the ‘liaison’. Were they joking? A  _ kid  _ was a liaison? 

 

Sam sighed as he listened and knew this was going to be a long meeting possibly. He gazed to Bee, Ratchet, Jazz, Ironhide, Will, and then Optimus and saw they all shared the same look as he had. Yep, they all agreed, this was going to be a long meeting. Sam crossed his arms and leaned against Optimus’ fingers as the Prime curled them up slightly. 

 

_ “Alright, let’s start with getting the base up to code”  _ Sam heard and just got settled until he needed to speak. 


	6. Around the corner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor body horror

Life Through A Mortal Death

 

Chapter 6: Around the corner

 

**_Where is he?_ ** A lone figure thought to himself as he scanned the empty desert area silently. They had been waiting for another to arrive for what felt like an hour, yet it was more like two hours. It was starting to get on his nerves as he had made  _ specific  _ instructions on when to arrive as the figure had other business to attend to. Yet he was left in the open space, unguarded, no way hidden nor able to hide because of this being a simple meeting area. It was especially bad if  _ he  _ got caught in the opening since the pesky little  _ human insects  _ found him out there. A growl escaped out of turbo engines that rested inside the chassis of a tan F-22 raptor.

 

It was frustrating that some couldn’t follow simple commands! 

 

The figure was about to leave when he heard a rumbling in the distance. He gazed out and then huffed when he saw the other  _ decided to show up  _ and slowly shifted out of his alt mode. His frame twisted, slipping metal over one another before leaving a mech figure standing in place. The mech growled and scowled at a police patrol unit that barreled through the desert sand. 

 

**“Could you not have chosen another place to meet that** **_isn’t_ ** **a slagging dust pit?!”** the police unit hacked out in an odd alien speech of clicks and warbling whirrs as he coughed out dust that moved through his ventilation system.  _ Honestly,  _ it was going to settle in his intakes if he couldn’t get it out. The raptor just growled and jerked a finger at the police unit. 

 

**“This is the only place** **_to_ ** **meet, Barricade”** the raptor snarled to him,  **“With the slagging insects crawling everywhere and keeping sans for us, where else** **_can_ ** **we meet?”** he sneered to the mech as he transformed after a small figure got out of the cabin. The tiny unit’s helm was badly damaged, but it seemed to be healing. 

 

**“I see you were ale to recover him”** the aerial mech stated and Barricade nodded,  **“Wasn’t as difficult as one would believe. They were actually** **_fixing_ ** **him to be able to** **_study_ ** **for their own twisted devices.”** Barricade explained while the small mech crawled up onto his shoulder and chittered slightly and warbled in a maniacal manner. The aerial shook his helm at the insane ramblings. 

 

**“Still unable to fix his damaged processor, but at least Soundwave will be able to know Frenzy lives with...minor scathes”** the raptor stated before Barricade huffed. 

 

**“Enough of this, Starscream. I did your bidding, tell me you were able to get in contact with the others”** Barricade growled while the raptor growled back. The second of the Decepticons, who was now the current leading body, nodded to the police unit while Frenzy stared intensely at the aerial. 

 

**“I was able to contact them. They’re not too far away from this mudball planet, about fourteen Earth cycles out. Though, they have Autobots on their trail. They might loop around and stay low until the Autobots** **_land_ ** **first as to get a more discreet entrance”** Starscream stated and shifted, crossing his arms and claws slightly over his chassis. Barricade shook his helm. 

 

**“I’m to guess this is Soundwave we’re speaking of, the others have no ‘descreet’ approach”** the police unit stated and the aerial unit laughed and grinned, “ **Why of course it is Soundwave, we need him earlier since he is our communication’s commander”** he rumbled and smirked to Barricade,  **“He stated the others were behind the Autobots, scavenging for what resources they could when he last had contact with the other teams”** the aerial unit told Barricade while waving a servo around in some manner. He gazed to the police unit and then pointed to him. 

 

**“Now, you said you did your task, I’m to suspect the case had to have been empty for you to enter, I doubt the Autobots are stupid enough to actually be able to not detect you.”** Starscream inquired slightly without asking it. Barricade nodded and shook his helm. 

 

**“Indeed, I had to wait for three sols before they did. They were highly unaware of a** **_police unit_ ** **a few kilometers away in a bolt hole. Though it seems the Prime is more, how would you say it…** **_distracted_ ** **and anxious.”** Barricade stated and Starscream lifted an optic ridge. 

 

**“Any possibility it is human related? I know they’re… in more contact than we are currently to the higher ranked insects”,** Starscream inquired slightly. Barricade shrugged a shoulder guard. 

 

**“I cannot say for sure. I know that the Prime has been unusually antsy, wandering around in unneeded intervals. Walking the perimeter of the base and had been gazing at the distant horizon that leads into the base entrance. If he is waiting for someone to arrive, then they must be highly important to Optimus”** the police unit explained while Starscream hummed. A wing flicked behind him while he gazed down for a moment. He was aware of how Frenzy was gazing back and forth between the two of them before chittering out drabble. 

 

**_“P-Pri-ime m-m-mech u-unm-mated, yet act-act-acts as if he-e found hi-hi-his s-sp-sp...m-mate!”_ ** Frenzy bit out after trying to get his glossa and vocals to properly work. The two larger mechs blinked and gazed to Frenzy before giving each other a look. 

 

**“There was no actually ‘reportings’ from the channels of others arriving”** Barricade stated and then moved to turn to Frenzy again when the small unit cackled.  **_“W-w-who s-said th-th-that Au-au-autobo-bots we-were-re logical? Th-Th-They car-car-care for the h-h-humans! W-W-With sseveral hu-hu-humans ha-ha-having been in con-con-con...cont-tact”_ ** he slowed himself as his glitching processor and vocals tried to counteract one another,  **_“Of th-the Al-Allsp-spark-k in i-it’s f-full ca-ca-capaci-ci-city, the-they c-co-come o-o-off-ff as o-o-o-one-ne of u-uss-ss”_ ** Frenzy got out his thought finally, he had observed the humans while he was captive by them, being held in a state of suspension where he was half aware of what was going on until Barricade was able to get him free. 

 

One of the places he had been held, had been in contact with the Autobots and were listening in on the ‘scans’ of their human comrades that were at Mission City, the battle he had only heard about in after the fact, that were having the same readings as the Allspark. The knowledge was shared simply...because they were not aware of what would happen to those humans that they cared for so  _ dearly.  _

 

Starscream stared at Frenzy before it dawned on him,  **“Are you saying that** **_Prime_ ** **chose a** **_human_ ** **?”** he asked and Barricade bawked at the question while Frenzy cackled and nodded enthusiastically. Starscream laughed and threw his helm back to release the noise at the utter preposterous thought. Barricade made a disgusted noise and shivered hard enough to rattle his plating. 

 

**“Disgusting! Not to mention preposterous! Who in their right mind would** **_choose_ ** **a human as their sparkmate?!”** Barricade snarled and Starscream grinned,  **“If it is as Frenzy put it, then the human was in contact with the Allspark. They must have lots of energy that is tricking the Prime into this...delusion of his. Though… Primes are the craziest mechs known to the galaxy if you remember.”** Starscream stated and Barricade just listened to him,  **“Mission city, having the human with the Allspark that killed Megatron, I heard that Optimus told the boy to shove the cube into** **_his own_ ** **chassis if the choice came down to it. Does that sound like a mentally sound mech? I do not believe so”** the aerial said. 

 

Barricade sneered, curling a lip plate up and barred the slightest hint of his sharp denta that laid inside his oral cavity. Frenzy continued to chitter and giggle as he watched the exchange before Starscream brought them back to the topic they had to get back to. 

 

**“Back to the main topic. You were successful in the installation then, is the device properly able to receive transmissions?”** the aerial mech stared at Barricade as he asked this. The police unit nodded and moved to send the coding line to Starscream so they could both listen in when anyone spoke near the unit. The aerial wasn’t going to ask how Barricade got the base’s location, he just knew the police unit had his unusual ways of doing so. And since he had obtained Frenzy again, there was no telling the two had done to get what they needed. Starscream took the coding line in and plugged it into a empty comm line system before switching on the device to listen. 

 

It was a few moments before he could hear the chatter of Autobots that seem to be waiting. He grinned and gazed to Barricade. They’d be able to hear what their enemies were doing now, be able to get the upper hand on them and learn of new developments happening to the Autobots. 

 

**“Seems we caught them just with a meeting beginning, lets…. Heheheheh lets relocate and have a listen while we do so~”** The aerial mech chirred and shifted to go and transform into his alt. mode. Barricade transformed and Frenzy flipped off his shoulder and landed on Cade’s hood afterward, moving to go and slip inside the Police unit’s cabin just as he pulled off to go after Starscream’s fleeing form. 

 

Sam sighed and rubbed his face as the meeting wasn’t even an hour in and there was already a headache forming in his skull. He glared at the other humans who were yelling and back talking to  _ every little thing.  _ The liaison moved from Optimus’ palm about ten minutes in to the ‘table top’ that the bots used for their own personal meetings. He crossed the large space of metal and went to the microphone that was there. 

 

“Will you all,  _ SHUT. UP?!”  _ he said loudly into the device while it spat out feedback that caused the humans on the other end to flinch and cover their ears. They groaned and some run out their ear canals as they heard ringing that was lingering behind. “Much better,” Sam said, stepping back some so he wouldn’t have another feedback loop.

 

“Now,” he stared, moving to put his hands behind his back and stood there in what he could pull off as an imposing form. “If you would  _ listen  _ to what I have to say, we can  _ move on  _ to more important topics.” Sam bit out and glared at a few of the adults as they were trying to start talking again, “No, your talking is over for now,  _ I  _ get to have the table. I am their appointed liaison, I am the human voice for those you refuse to listen to, so sit down, shut your mouth, and open your ears, because I’m going to say this once.” he said, glaring at them all while his frame trembled under his jacket. 

 

“You are all idiots” he told the group that had been arguing, “The Autobots are  _ not the threat here _ . You know this, you know why they are here, you were  _ debriefed  _ on everything. They are here because their  _ war  _ was brought here. They  _ cannot _ leave as the threat of their war still remains. They  _ do not _ want to invade, they  _ do not _ want to cause any loss of life towards humans,  _ nor do they _ want to take over this planet.” Sam said, glaring at the  _ adults  _ before him. His eyes were hard as he stared at the government officials, the light made his eyes glow a little as he watched them. 

 

_ “We were told the war was ended”  _ one of the officials stated and Sam sighed, “The main war, yes, but like with every war here on Earth, there are still rebels that keep that threat going. That is the reason they remain here” he told the others.  _ “What of the fact they call their...their kind here?”  _ Sam heard another question.

 

“It is back up from their side. Its encoded to ensure that only Autobot forces are able to receive and decrypt it’s message. Like with military forces here, do you simply call back up without first precaution if able? The same applies here” he stated an there was a silence for a moment. The bots were impressed with Sam’s spontaneity. 

 

“The bots are not our enemies, yet they could be if you keep treating them as such. They have co-operated with your terms, they have waited for your time frames, they have done what you said and jumped your hoops. It’s now time for  _ you  _ to start listening to their request and  _ help them  _ to help yourself. If not then there is a bigger threat to our planet than just the Decepticons.” Sam said, adding in that layer of fear, even if it could backfire. 

 

“They are our allies” he quickly added when one of the officials tried to talk, “They  _ came to us  _ and  _ helped  _ us even when we didn’t deserve any of it. Our species has harmed theirs, has used them, and endangered them. We  _ owe  _ them a great deal, we owe them a better existence here on Earth while they continue to discreetly try and finish the rebellion. A broken down and abandoned hanger with no supplies, no proper defence, no way to actually  _ do  _ anything is not helping the. We owe them for also using their technology to advance our own. Or do you believe we can fight off an army that can squish us with little remorse and ease?” Sam asked after his rambling ended and the adults stared for a while. 

 

It wasn’t an entirely well thought out rant and ramble Sam did, but it was quite well put together for being on the go. The officials looked to one another and muttered lightly to each other before someone came forward to the monitor.  _ “We get the reasoning behind it all, we are just unsure as to what else could fall in line and cause a threat to humanity,”  _ the official said and Sam sighed.

 

“Anything is a threat to us, we are small, fragile and easily susceptible to the biggest or smallest of entities,” Sam explained, his left hand lightly toughed his right, where he felt the bandages through his gloves. “Our bodies could die tomorrow with little cause and we wouldn’t know it, but look at it this way… Is it better to have them with us, instead of against us? They could have simply let the Decepticons take over, they chose to fight for us and help us. Don’t they deserve the same kind of help? We are all sentient and self aware. Treating them badly is the same as treating your friends badly. It doesn’t end well” Sam said in laymen terms. 

 

The official breathed in slowly and shifted before nodding.  _ “Senator Keller, we should move on to the topics the...consulate has sent us. It’s best to no longer hinder progress or advancements with the Cybertronians”  _ the official stated, to Sam’s relief, even if he tripped over ‘Cybertronians’. The Autobots smiled and looked to Sam in a grateful manner. Even Will held some pride in his stance for Sam’s words and actions. Sam sighed and gave a goofy sile as he stood back while the Senator motioned Optimus forward so they could talk about the requests that was sent it. 

 

Optimus’ spark swelled with such Pride at how well Sam did. How he deflected the officials and got them to  _ pay attention  _ and listen. It made him feel as if he further made the right choice in choosing Sam as his sparkmate. How well he handled his own people and got them to actually  _ work _ with them. He moved to pull Sam back and settle his boy close to him while he came forward Sam followed the movement so he could listen to the exchange and be in close range if he was needed. Optimus Kept Sam close simply because his body didn’t need to be looked at any more. He did his piece and Optimus could take it from there.

 

Starscream snorted and laughed as he listened. His flight had been shorter than Barricades drive, thus he sat and waited. He listened closely while he waited for the only other Decepticons that he knew were still planetside and  _ alive,  _ unlike the rouges he knew had landed and had been extinguished. It was their own faults for not contacting others and trying to reformulate the Decepticon legion. 

 

The aerial hummed and shifted as he continued to listen to the Autobot’s meeting. It had been a little entertaining listening to the humans fight. Bickering and snidding between the officials and the Autobot Consulate, though he swore he heard them say ‘Cybertronian’ with the ‘help’ meaning more than just the Autobots. The aerial hummed while thinking some. 

 

The human who killed Megatron, he heard him clearly over the comm system, was at the base and was the ‘liaison’. The one who spoke for  _ them  _ and made others listen. So the human spoke for the  _ Cybertronians  _ and not just the Autobots. He thought about that for a moment. How interesting that was. He was very young, not unlike that bumbling spy that Barricade had as a rival, and yet he stood up to Megatron and acted almost like a Prime when needed. There was few who could be a leader, or could fulfill the leader spot rather. 

 

Starscream  _ hated  _ humans. Simple as that. They were selfishly disgusting beings who believed themselves to be far superior and more advanced over those who they had no business ordering around and demanding things of. They were imbeciles and even more cruel than the rest of his kind would think or believe the insects to be. 

 

Especially the Autobots. 

 

Yet they kept Megatron frozen still, they had kept him forcefully out of commission, hid him away, studied him when Megatron wasn’t willing,  _ tested on him  _ and that Scout, killed sparklings they uselessly made just for the sake of doing so because they didn’t understand the Allspark and made assumptions. They were disgusting, they were the worst type of destructive abominations that existed. 

 

Starscream hated them, hated this planet, hated everything about this side of the universe. 

 

But… he had to admit, they were resilient and had some use. Especially the young human  _ Sam  _ even if he loathed to admit it. He helped get rid of Megatron for the time being, one obstacle that Starscream couldn’t have with their numbers as low as they are. Yet it was best the former High Lord Protector was decease for the humans couldn’t further use him. 

 

**_And Primus holds thee tightly in his waves, forgiving past doings and healing the wounded contextualities that made you complicated._ ** The aerial thought to him, not being overly religious as a few of his comrades, Starscream knew their otherworldly creator did possibly continue existence in a plane far past their knowledge of existence. He knew that his fallen comrades and his fallen leader was healing in the tight embrace that came to be known as the well. Waiting for the time he was to return and continue his reign. 

 

Maybe even more sound of mind than he previously had been for the millennia he had been trapped on this miserable planet. 

 

The aerial slipped his thoughts back towards the human who had killed Megatron. While it made him venomously irate and wanting to avenge his leader, Starscream saw use for the human, even after hearing about him through Barricade’s comm system. He had Barricade give him all the information he knew regarding the boy after the whole incident of the final battle. Besides mundane human things, he found the boy was quite… peculiar in the sense. Learning how he was quite intelligent and empathetic towards Cybertronians. 

 

Starscream knew the boy was a  _ bleeding heart  _ for those insufferable Autobot commands, but he also knew some sort of kindness to the Decepticons, as he hadn’t gone after the Decepticons that were still Earth bound. He knew the boy had seen Barricade more thana few times, yet he had said nothing when the police unit hadn’t done a thing but observe him. 

 

Even though he rightfully could give the previous encounter when they first met. 

 

The boy was fascinating and, given what was now known of them, came off as one of their own due to the Allspark. He had been the one to shove the cube into Megatron’s chassis, there was nothing to actually know differently if the cube had done anything else to him. Even in flesh, the boy was technically a neutral Cybertronian with Autobot ties, yet not officially one of them. 

 

It was something Starscream could possibly use if he got his servos on the boy. 

 

The aerial looked up when he heard the rumbling engine and crunching tires of Barricade when the mech finally caught up to the seeker at the small abandoned mine that Starscream located and took as shelter. It wasn’t the most pleasant thing, but it had resources inside that he could harvest and use. 

 

Standing, Starscream went to meet Barricade and Frenzy half-way before crossing his arms. **“I do hope in a dire situation you can get away faster,”** he told the two and knew it had no bite, just a little jab at the slowness thy displayed. Barricade rolled his optics and looked around. 

 

**“Where in the pit are we?”** The police unit questioned and made a very unusual face at the area. The seeker chuckled and waved his hand, “ **This is our base for the time being, yes it looks….like this, I can assure you I have a working base deeper inside, humans abandoned it long before they got to the actual resourceful materials inside.”** he explained and moved to slip into the opening of the mouth, ducking inside under the mouth lip before standing again as he raised the ‘roof’ drastically to fit them inside. He waited for Barricade to come in along with Frenzy before heading down to the more working sections of the base. 

 

As an aerial, Starscream couldn’t stand being in a confined space as this for long, so he had bolt tunnels through out the place he could quickly escape to if needed. It also allowed for quicker access with supplies rather than using the front entrance. He waved to the  _ actually  _ functional set up he had. Slightly primitive, but it did the work for now until he could get others in to help with the more complex resource gathering and expansion. 

 

**“Did you do this alone?”** Barricade quirked while the aerial chuckled, **“What others could I have called upon to come to give a hand, Barricade?”** The aerial chuckled again while Frenzy whistled a little. 

 

**_“I-Imp-impres-sive”_ ** Frenzy said and grinned while seeing a few computer systems that were set up for monitoring and communications. The flight-capable mech preened under the word and the slight awe the two were in. He moved along to the monitors and typed in a few keys before bringing up a map with a few areas marked on it. 

 

**“This is the area we’re in, given the Autobots don’t know we...are closer than they believe,”** he highlighted the Autobot base that was less than twenty miles away,  **“It is best in our interest to et another base set up when the others finally arrive. One more functional, stable, and better fitted for a raid should it come to that”** the aerial said while falling into ‘leader mode’ since he had been the Decepticon leader for the duration of Megatron’s absence. He did pretty damn good all things considered, even if there were some hiccups with rouges. 

 

Barricade hummed and gazed to the map,  **“This is less of a base and more of a resource plunge, such as back in Cybertron’s energon ruts”** The police unit said and Starscream nodded to him. 

 

**“Yes, though far less volatile”** Starscream agreed,  **“It’s good for now since there is iron that keeps our signals from being picked up by humans and the Autobots”** the seeker stated and put in the comm code for the transmitter and let it start playing, keeping a recording of what was said while they were not in constant use of it. He then brought up another screen in some typing of keys then two more and pointed to one that he enlarged with a swipe of his claws to the screen,  **“Soundwave’s transmission came from here”** The aerial pointed out and used his finger to make a circle appear and enlarge the black space. 

 

In it there was a large planet of red, brown and hazy orange that laid next to a vast emptiness, but in front of it was a shimmering ring of asteroids that seemed to be moving lazily around.  **“He’s two planets away from this one, the Autobots are not far behind him and his larger team unit is just beyond them here, searching for resources beyond the fabrications of this planet’s limited knowledge”** he said and brought up Neptune in all of it’s blue glory  **“They found a small pocket of energon and Trithhylium on this planet here, compacted deep in the ice. They could be a while before coming here, ough given it’s the constructicons, it may not be too much time spent”** Starscream rambled slightly and hummed as he typed in Soundwave’s comm link to try and see if he could get a signal and find the mech’s location through pings. 

 

Frenzy instantly knew the comm line code and vibrated excitedly with the thought of his team being close enough to talk with. Or at least know where they were. The small mech watched and waited until Starscream sent out a ping that all three of them could hear as it whistled in a pitch higher than humans could decipher. They waited for a send back and knew it could take a bit given how far out the communication’s mech was, but they did find something to occupy themselves until then. 

 

Listening in on the Autobots like gossip mongers. 

 

There was a relief feeling when the meeting ended after four hours, one freaking half hour break in between. Sam felt his eye was twitching and brought a hand up to it to try and soothe the irritation. The others seemed to be doing more or less the same with hands and servos going to soothe skin and metal after the screen had cut out the transmission. Sam groaned while he rubbed his gloved hands over his face and then slumped down a small bit. 

 

A touch to his back and side made him gaze up to the mech touching him and saw Optimus was looking at him. The human smiled and let Optimus pick him up before being carried around by the Prime. “At least we got things to sort of figured out,” he told Optimus, who could only agree. 

 

“Indeed, Sam. We are at least getting supplies and the base up to spec. We’ll be more comfortable this way and be able to house our comrades when they come in. I thank you for all you did, Sam. I don’t believe we would have gotten through without you” Optimus said, pride seeping into his voice with another tone that Sam couldn’t decipher. He flushed at the attention and shifted in place before being humble and modest.

 

“It’s...it’s my duty and...and you shouldn’t be treated unfairly when you’re doing what is right,” Sam told Optimus and felt the Prime pet him lightly as he carried Sam towards the barracks so Sam could go into his room, unlock his door, and go eat. He settled more against Optimus’ fingers when he was petted and sighed as it soothed his tension that held in his back. The Prime warbled something in Cybertronian that Sam couldn’t pick up, but it sounded nice. 

 

Starscream snorted as he picked up  _ ‘My worrying boy’  _ that Optimus said. He gazed to Barricade who looked to Frenzy as the small mech cackled loudly. 

 

The Prime kneeled to Sam’s room and allowed the human to slip on inside. Sam thanked Optimus and said he would be back out after eating. The Prime nodded and simply stated that he and the others would be preparing some schematics for the base building in the main hanger. The human nodded and closed the window before sighing. He looked to his gloves and wondered, vaguely, why no one mentioned them. 

 

Maybe the meeting distracted them? Or, rather, they were not that obvious since they were combat gloves used for training and Sam could often be found wearing them beyond their intended use. Will and Epps got him a few pairs just in case the ones he liked wore out. He smiled and was glad that no one asked, though he could use the excuse of it being cold. Sam lightly touched his palm when he was sure that Optimus had left and felt the sunk in wound. He probably should check it after he was done eating. It had been several hours since he applied it after all. 

 

The young human moved to the door and unlocked it before trekking down the hall to go to the kitchen and get some food. He was starving again and a headache was just holding itself off by a matter of minutes. Sam saw Will coming in the other way and was given a look. “...Optimus took me out of my room this morning and I hadn’t unlocked my door” he explained. 

 

Will just stared for a moment then noded, letting Sam have this one before motioning the other to come forth so they could eat. “How do waffles sound?” Will questioned and Sam chuckled, “Home made or eggo style?” 

 

“Leggo my Eggo” Will grinned and moved to the freezer to get the frozen sweet batter. 

 

“Alright, let's eat,” Sam said and clasped his hands together. He could feel something was off in his hand, but just chalked it up to the infection he was fighting. 

 

The shard sent small pulses as the final pieces of wiring were settling into place. Sam doing what he did earlier caused the shard to have to fix a few components when they became damaged from the rubbing alcohol, water, and peroxide. It seeped further down than the human knew and thus was messing with the protoform the shard was creating from the base core of his skeletal structure It made for a good base, but the shard had to break and destroy everything in it’s path, remove the organic material once the use of it had been outlived. 

 

It started to go upwards to the wrist, moving to tighten the loose wiring in the hand to start going upwards to the connector bend, slipping in connection ports that expelled the deceased organic material while letting the newly created protoform clad hand be unharmed for the most part. The ‘infection’ Sam suspected he had, was actually his body’s response to the foreign metal in him, yet also was his body’s way of saying it was dying. There would only be so much time before the body started to remove the deceased tissue. 

 

In futile attempts to keep the body alive, the human body was fighting the inevitable. The shard would get its way in the end, and Sam would eventually come face to face with the actual predicament he was in. 


	7. Secrets Have A Way of Coming Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Body Horror

Life Through A Mortal Death

 

Chapter 7: Secrets Have A Way of Coming Out

 

The young liaison sighed as he woke up slowly and shivered as it was definitely cold on base. He sighed and rubbed his face to try and wake up, shivering while wrapping up in the blankets to suck up the last bit of warmth while trying to get the will to pull out of the bed. Sam looked at his alarm clock and saw it was twelve past five in the morning and sighed. He had to meet Will and Epps in about fifteen minutes for his morning run.

 

He was just glad that Epps and Mikaela had arrived safely after the negotiations were done. He knew that after all that headache had passed the week prior, Sam was ready to start his life’s new routine. It started out with the running, a quick wash up with a check of his hand that was unchanged for the most part. Once he was cleaned and fed, then he met up with Mikaela and they would go and start weapon training, from learning how to clean the human guns and knives, to using them and taking them away.

 

Mikaela was miles ahead of Sam, but that was okay, she had a tougher upbringing and thus had more of a natural affinity for this type of thing.

 

When the couple had arrived, Sam had been so happy to see them, mainly cause he hadn’t been able to tell Mikaela anything since he arrived due to his phone not working for whatever reason, and he felt he needed to tell her a few things that happened, from the meeting more specifically, to how they were going to be able to have _proper housing_ on base. So that night after they were all settled in and Mikaela was having a sit down in Sam’s room, which he had spruced up before she arrived, and gave her the details.

 

He had still been wearing the gloves and waved his hands about with animated excitement. Sam wore the gloves all the time now since he was on base, not that he could actually not wear them given his condition, and he played it off of being cold or simply wanted to protect his hands from training. He had been asked enough times to the point he snapped and asked if it was really that big of a deal that he wore gloves? He was living on the Consulate, he changed his life goals, was getting his body into a healthy manner by Will and Epps’ help, why not change a few other things about himself? Like his wardrobe?

 

After snapping at the others, they let the glove topic drop. Sam was grateful, only because he couldn’t think of another reason to actually tell them what he wore them for. It was a good thing for the day, but at night it was a different story. The young human had to peel the gloves off when his hand had swelled up from the use, and then peel the bandages off, toss them into the toilet and prayed that it didn’t stop up the sewage system. Afterward, Sam spent time cleaning his hand, disinfecting it, and rebandaging it. Once this was finish, he would go to bed and rest, feeling exhausted and seemed to drop into a deeper sleep than he could normally.

 

Every night since Mikaela and Epps arrived, Sam started to have a weird set dream. He was often floating in the depths of space, in a plane of higher existence because he could see through his form. It was odd, but not as odd as the metallic arm and hand he saw that matched where his own hand and arm had been burned in that terrible pain, and where the infection was. He couldn’t see more than that, but it looked more was being added. Sam didn’t know if this was a good or bad thing, but it certainly wasn’t natural.

 

Yet, he didn’t feel panicked by it, like it was meant to happen. His panic was soothed as soon as it started to rise with someone was telling him it was okay, everything would be okay. Sam tried to not be gullible and believe some odd presence in his dream, but it did comfort him to some degree. His eyes would drift back up to the vastness of space, Sam would then start to make out a form before him in the dream, a silhouette of someone large, like Optimus. Though, he couldn’t tell who it was, nor knew if he knew them. But he would feel drowsy and sick when the other came near and Sam would start to fade out of the dream, but not before hearing things like; _‘not time yet, young one’, ‘much too soon’,_ or _‘rest, young one’_.

 

Once this happened, he felt as if he was falling freely before jolting awake as his ‘being’ landed into his body and gripping his chest while sweating profusely. It would be around the time he needed to wake up and head to training. As such time it was now to go.

 

Sam groaned and moved to roll out of bed, Epps would drag him out even if he wasn’t ready. He did that before Sam’s move to the Consulate. It was not a good experience as Sam had to do everything in his pajamas. It had been a good lesson that he learned rather well the one time, and never again just slept in. The young human grumbled as he quickly got ready and dressed, checking his hand and cleaned it carefully before bandaging it up again and heading out to dress then race to meet Epps and Will.

 

He arrived just in time with Will coming with Epps and Mikaela. Sam was in a hooded jacket and was ready for the run. They went around the base perimeter, but Epps kept trying to push them further than the one before, another lap more. It was frustrating when he was already tired and sweaty, never having been the most athletic even prior meeting the Autobots and soldiers. But it gave him something to do and have a routine.

 

He needed routine, something to occupy himself with when he wasn’t needed, or when the Autobots were busy. Like currently, as he watched them from where he stood, they were fastly talking in their native tongue, which he started to be able to pick up a few words like _‘what’_ and _‘good’_ , his favorite was _‘pitfire’_ as it sounded soothing, even if it wasn’t a nice word. The bots were gathered around the comm system and muttering to each other while their vocals were trying to hide excitement.

 

Sam could only guess it was their friends that were near arrival. Ratchet pointed to a spot on the screen and it enlarged to show movement that was coming towards Earth’s moon. It was a unit of five and then there were blips near it that were around eight or so. Sam smiled, it was a good chunk of Autobot comrades that were _confirmed_ to be Autobots. He could just tell that it was their friends.

 

Especially since Optimus was _beaming_ with delight. Sam’s heart pulsed at the sight and he shifted some before gazing to Will and Epps as they were waiting for him.

 

“Oh, s-sorry” he stuttered, flustering as they knew he had been staring off at the Bots. They chuckled before waving him to come along for warm-ups. Sam moved to follow and flustered while his hand began to twitch some and warmth spread He hadn’t felt warmth or pain in over a week, least he didn’t remember if he did. Sam was almost afraid to think that it was starting up again.

 

He couldn’t hide if he was in pain this time.

 

The whole time he did warm-ups, Sam was quiet, semi slower than usual due to his uncertainty, but the pain never came, the twitch left him and the warmth just lingered, nothing too bad. Though he was still on edge as he moved from jumping jacks and stretches to his laps with the rangers and Mikaela. They started off around the main hanger for a few laps, just small starts since it was rather cold out. Sam listened to the Autobots as they whispered and grinned happily, he strained to try and understand what they were saying.

 

A prickling feeling to his eyes and ears started to form and Sam shivered at the sensation, but he started to pick up the words that were being whispered about. The worlds that came from Optimus’ rich vocals that had been once undecipherable whirring, was now coherent words he could understand to a larger degree than before.

 

 **_“-Given just a few days to prepare.”_ **was all he could get out, but it was enough to make Sam run into the doorway with a grunt and hit the ground. He hadn’t paid any attention to where he had been running. A groan escaped him as he bashed the side of his head in and held his ear. There was lots of noise as he was momentarily stunned with pain and the air getting knocked out of him.

 

He was carefully helped up by Mikaela and checked over. Sam waved her off and shook himself off. “Well if I wasn’t awake before, I am now” he laughed it off, his face red as he noticed that he was surrounded by the base inhabitance. Bee was moving to grab him and check him over, as was Optimus. The human held his hand up to them and made a ‘stop stop’ motion.

 

“I’m alright” he soothed, though he did have a red mark on his face from where he hit the door, “didn’t realize I zoned out. I’m not bleeding, I’m _okay”_ Sam informed the two as they were starting to get close and were about ready to object. His ear hurt, but it wasn’t bad, he was more startled than anything. The young human was not sure about what he had _heard_ from the small conversation snippet he got before hitting the wall. But he was so sure he did understand it, not his mind playing tricks on him.

 

Optimus stared worriedly at his human while his spark pulsed and clenched. Sam had startled the whole team out of the conversation of their comrades making contact pings with them for coordinates to land. This only happened if there was danger near them, such as the Cons, thus they had sent back a ping. Ratchet had been the most excited since it was Wheeljack who had been pinging. The main team split into three when they noticed there was a back squadron.

 

From what they understood, Prowl had put Wheeljack, Perceptor, Red Alert and Inferno on a team. Prowl himself was with the twins Sunstreaker and Sideswipe for their personal safety, and Prowl’s own knowledge they weren’t going to do slag, and he also had Bluestreak with him along with Hound. Blaster, Mirage, First Aid, and a few others, Optimus thought he heard the term ‘minis’ which was used for a few mechs near Bee’s size and age range, was backtracking and doing a lead away if needed while Prowl’s team were forward flashing after another team.

 

Meaning Wheeljack and his team was going to be the first to land. And that was in possibly two Earth cycles or less. They had very little time to actually prepare for the landing other than the general location. He needed to contact Keller and alert him of the arrival team. Optimus’ focus was on Sam and he scanned his human for injuries. Other than the wind being knocked out of him, from what he could pick up, and the mark on his face, Sam was okay. He looked to Ratchet for confirmation and he got the same result. Though, there was a look that was a bit concerning. Ratchet motioned he’d talk to Optimus about it after the fact because he didn’t want to scare Sam and the others to think something was wrong with their liaison.

 

Optimus swallowed and felt his need to grab Sam rise, but Ratchet shook his helm in a motion that stated it would cause a panic if he did. So the Prime just kneeled before Sam, “Are you sure you’re alright, Sam?” he asked, his worry bleeding into his voice while he kept looking his boy over. Sam just smiled and nodded, “I’m okay, Optimus. I swear to you” he said.

 

That swear oath left bitterness in Sam’s mouth, he was anything, but okay with how his hand, upon landing, hand shifted and he felt something had come loose. What, he couldn’t tell, but he was terrified to think of what it meant. He couldn’t feel anything in his hand, it was so numb and he was afraid to look. Not knowing what he would find.

 

“If you are sure,” Optimus said, though his voice didn’t show that he wasn’t out of the worrying woods yet. Sam nodded again and smiled softer, “I’m fine, nothing to worry about,” the human told the leader of the Autobots. Really, he was the least one to have worry put on him. He was their liaison sure, but he was still young, he held not much promise yet as he didn’t know much of anything regarding his friends, didn’t know mechanical work like Mikaela, and was a weakling, unlike the soldiers.

 

He was almost a burden if it wasn’t for his liaison work.

 

He didn’t want to be a burden to anyone, least of the Cybertronians who he cared for dearly. As sappy and cliche as that would sound, Sam was afraid of being nothing else, but a wasted space that couldn’t do anything. He was close to it right now and he was afraid of what might come if the others found out about his predicament. The might now want him around, might try to dissect him as he thought, might send him to a sector to be tested on by his own government.

 

Sam didn’t know honestly, but his fears were up there, he moved to turn to Will and get their run back on. Will had a concerned look, as did Epps and Mikaela. “Oh come on, I’m fine,” he told them. Will came up and took Sam’s face in his hands and turned Sam’s head to the side to check the spot he hit.

 

“You’re gonna have a nice bruise and possibly a shiner” Will stated and lightly touched the area, making Sam wince lightly. “And sensitivity, I would go ice it and do some of your other studies for now, like Ratchet’s medical work he is having you do,” Will said and Sam made a face, “Don’t be like that, Sam”

 

“Will, I’m fine, I’m not as weak as you may believe”

 

“Sam you _hit your damn head_ square on sheet metal!” Will snipped and gave Sam a look, Sam returned it, but less of one. Will was a father, he had a right to worry over Sam. The younger man shifted while Mikaela went and touched his shoulder, “We’re not saying you’re weak, Sam. Head injuries just are not good. I’m sure Ratchet scanned you right away to check for a concussion” she told Sam and his heart rate picked up.

 

Oh, no…. He forgot that Ratchet, their _medic_ , scanned on the regular with highly advanced scans. He felt his heart pinch and he gazed to Ratchet carefully. The mech was analyzing him some as he may have noticed the heart rate.

 

“W-Well Ratchet? What do you think?” he asked, stuttering, he had forgotten…

 

“You will have a minor head injury with no concussion, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a chance for further damage. There also seems-”

 

“Thank you Ratchet, I guess that settles it, I’m fine,” he said, cutting Ratchet off while the medic frowned at the action. The others saw this too, but said nothing, thinking that Sam didn’t want to mention something. So they all, all eight of them, filed this information away in their own sort of thought process. There was a look of concern on their faces still and Will continued to motion Sam to go do something else because of the injury. Sam was stubborn, but eventually gave and moved to go to his room. He was stopping to get ice first for his face as it _was_ starting to hurt.

 

He didn’t see the looks follow him as Sam left, the humans looked to their Cybertronian equivalents.

 

“So, what do you think Sam’s hiding?” Will questioned Ratchet and Optimus, having seen them cast glances earlier.

 

“I can’t be fully sure,” Ratchet stated, “He’s fine as far as can see, but his scans come up with some strange readings when coming to his right hand.” the medic explained.

 

“Why his hand? What does it say?” Optimus asked, his worry building up again. Ratchet patted Optimus’ shoulder to soothe him.

 

“It shows trauma, a trauma that won’t come from a hard fall such as that. It seems it had been building for a while yet wasn’t fully noticeable on scans until he fell” the medic explained, “I can’t know until he comes and sees me” Ratchet continued.

 

“It might be why he wears the gloves” Mikaela stated, “More than him changing his style. He wears them even in the barracks where he doesn’t have to” she told the others. Will and Epps gave a look and blinked a few times. They hadn’t noticed this.

 

“Honestly, Sam is hiding something, he doesn’t want us to know” Mikaela stated and crossed her arms, “I should grab him and bring him to you Ratchet” she glanced up to the medic as she vocalized this.

 

“I wouldn’t for the moment,” Ratchet said. The others gave him a look and he sighed, “As you said, he’s hiding something. He doesn’t want us to know. If we try and get him to forcefully come to us, who knows what will happen… he may bolt” the medic explained while others had that realization cross their faces. Bee shifted and moved closer to Ratchet and cleared his vocals, starting to use them again in more frequent intervals.

 

“Do you think we should trap him?” the youngest mech questioned, “I...shamefully, have to admit he’s been acting strange for… for a while,” he said while the focus went to him.

 

“He has?” Optimus questioned, he was gazing to the barrack area while tempted to open Sam’s window and grab his boy out, “Since when?”

 

“Since before we came here to the base,” Bee said, “He acted strangely at the Witwicky house, I thought it might have just been because of him moving, but he also looked as if he was in pain, again I believed it from his move,” Bee said, feeling horrible as he was Sam’s guardian still, even if they were on the base together now, Sam still fell under his responsibility.

 

“Bee you should have said this sooner,” Ratchet said in a semi-scolding manner. Bee gave him a look, “As I said, I thought it was because of his move. Humans are more emotional and sentimental. Sam especially.” he told Ratchet again and crossed his arms in a defensive manner. Ratchet sighed and rubbed his face softly.

 

“I understand, Bee, apologies,” the medic said and Bee nodded lightly, his field brushed out slightly and showed he felt responsible.

Optimus vented slowly and quivered in a way that only his fellow mechs could notice. Ironhide went up and patted Optimus’ shoulder and back to bring the mech back into the present so he wouldn’t enter his prime coding. Hide gazed lightly to Will as he saw the human talking with Epps and seemed to be making a plan. A plan to jump Sam.

 

“No,” Ratchet said, getting everyone’s attention, “No jumping Samuel” he explained softly his word use, “If he is trapped so soon after this talk, he might not trust us and, as I put, _bolt_ to where we won’t be able to find him,” Ratchet informed.

 

“Where would he go? We’re an hour and a half away from civilization and surrounded by desert” Hide drawled and Ratchet gave him a look.

 

“There are lots of spaces out here that animals hide in, and Sam is small…” Ratchet said, frowning and gazed to Will, “Has he been eating at all?” the medic quirked slightly.

 

“I’ve only seen him nibble on a few things after his first meal when he arrived” Will stated, “But I haven’t paid much attention to his eating habits.” he thought and shifted some, “I’ll start watching since you state it’s ill-advised to jump Sam”

 

“Please do, his weight is a bit under what he should be.” Ratchet let the ranger know and heard Ironhide grab Optimus’ shoulder to keep the Prime in place, “Optimus calm yourself” Ratchet groundout.

 

“What is up with Optimus, Ratchet?” Mikaela quirked as she noticed his attitude as of late.

 

“He’s just worried about Sam,” Ratchet quirked back and Mikaela gave a look. Optimus flustered as he heard Mikaela and slumped his shoulders.

 

“Right,” she drawled out and gave Ratchet a look, “I’m not as oblivious as Sam, Ratchet.” She stated fully, “I’ve noticed him outside Sam’s room, I’ve seen his looks, that hold he has when he carries Sam, the fact he doesn’t _allow_ Bee to carry Sam much when he is around. Tell me that it's just worrying” the only female on base gritted her teeth as she gazed to Ratchet, who swallowed some.

 

“I see, my… my apologies, Mikaela,” Ratchet whispered some and sighed before looking to Optimus. He saw his Prime didn’t want to talk about it, but it seemed that it was going to be spoken about. There was a voice that came up from behind them and a chuckle.

 

“Optimus, my mech, has what you human’s say, a one-sided affection for Sam” Jazz grinned and Optimus gave Jazz a look that was a mix of apprehension and irritation. “It’s more than just that, Jazz, and you know it” he growled. His secret was out already, so it wasn’t as if he was going to have Jazz butcher his needs for Sam.

 

“What does _that_ mean?” Will questioned and crossed his arms now.

 

“It’s more difficult to explain,” Ratchet said and moved to lower his hand to bring the humans up so they could have a proper place to talk. The three humans went onto Ratches servo before being taken to the meeting area. He huffed and wondered where, to begin with, this topic.

 

Starscream flicked his optics to Barricade while the two were listening to the Autobots still. The heard the commotion earlier and it got them to listen in. The human, Sam, was hiding something and it was something that Starscream noticed.

 

 **“The trauma that the medic speaks of, could it be connected to the vocals we keep picking up in the deep section of the night?”** Starscream wondered aloud while Barricade gave a general noise of ‘I don’t know’ and the aerial huffed, **“If he is hiding something, then it might be in interest to have Frenzy sneak onto the base and watch”** he told the police bot while Frenzy chittered and grumbled.

 

 **_“S-S-Soun-oundwa-wave close. C-C-Can-Can’t just u-u-up and lea-lea-leave w-w-whe-en he’s in p-prep o-of dec-cen-cent”_ **Frenzy informed in his broken tongue. Starscream sighed, it was a disobedience of an order that he was going to give, but the small mech had a point. Soundwave was close to his arrival decent. They all needed to be there, especially Frenzy, who needed to reunite to his team and hopefully get fixed with Soundwave’s repairing system since he was Soundwave’s unit.

 

 **“Then afterward. We need the information and knowledge of what Samuel is hiding”** Starscream said and Barricade chuckled, **“Since when has the human become** **_Samuel,_ ** **Starscream?”** Barricade quirked. Starscream narrowed his optics at the grounder. **“Since he has two other mech companions and a femme unit on base. Honestly, Barricade, I thought you’d be smarter. He might be a human, the disgusting insect that killed Megatron, but you know why he is important. He is valuable to the humans and the Autobots. If we keep calling him ‘the human’ then it will be confusing and he’d be lost in equal translation”** he bit out his ramble while Cade threw his servos up and snickered.

 

“Easy,” Barricade said, slipping into English, “I mean it as a joke, Starscream,” he soothed and snickered while the aerial twitched, **“You need your wingmates, Starscream, you seekers get twitchy,”** he told the aerial and the seeker hissed at him.

 

 **“My brothers are not my wingmates, they’re wingmates to each other, I merely make the third of the family trine”** Starscream informed the other mech and huffed. Barricade blinked at this knowledge. “There’s a difference?” the police unit questioned some. The only flight-capable mech growled to the ignorance.

 

“Of _course_ there is! There are many types of slagging trines you can make! It’s not just seekers and aerials that use trines, dingus!” Starscream spat, using the human word without realizing he did. “There are family trines, such as mine with Skywarp and Thundercracker. Thundercracker came into the unit when he aligned with Skywarp. I’m just apart of the unit since I was ‘left over’ if you will from the duo siblingship” the seeker informed Barricade.

 

“Wingmates are completely different than that” Starscream continued, “Those are more of our aligned if you will, but are not fully in sync with each other, they’re more for pleasure seeking built on trust” he went on, telling Barricade what he needed to know, “A true trine, aligned, can come from wingmates, but it’s not unheard of if aerials take on a grounder or two into the trine if they feel the pull”

 

“Have you?” Barricade quirked when Starscream finished talking of the few trines that he wished to tell Barricade about. “Once, long ago, though I don’t believe it was actually a pull of alignment, more of want for a proper trine and wingmates that weren’t in a family unit. Young aerials wish to expand on the trine knowledge will seek out others they have a ‘pull’ to and make a temporary trine to try and figure out if they really want that or if it was just giddiness of being able to formulate a trine for the first time” he explained more to Barricade on his knowledge of his kind’s mating habits.

 

“Interesting,” Barricade said and then blinked when he heard the commotion of the comms, “Seems they’re on the main topic now” he informed Starscream, “Indeed,” the seeker said and moved back to listening to the Autobots.

 

“ _So,_ just let  see if I have this straight” Mikaela said while her head was spinning and trying to get around what she was told, “ _Optimus_ ,” her hand shot out to point to the Prime, “In all his Prime glory and such, the leader of the Cybertron and Autobots basically, capable of having nearly anyone he wants… chose _Sam_ as a...mate?” she questioned while Optimus covered his face and sighed at the words.

 

“Mikaela,” Optimus stated, “I don’t have the capability to ‘have’ anyone I want” he explained, “Our sparks do have a ‘pull’ to certain individuals that we have as a… ’soul mate’ as you will,” he started with his further explanation, “Sure we are not against being with another should we have the desire to formulate a deeper relationship with that mecha in question, though we are generally not monogamists as humans are. We bring in a few others and sometimes make ‘trine units’ if you will. Seekers, like Starscream, are more common in this act, but paired couples bring in others to fool around with and test for a trine unit, or a pod of several individuals that verge off with the two main couple individually without interactions with one another unless necessary.” Optimus stopped for a moment for the information to digest.

 

“What I have for Sam,” the Prime continued after a moment, “Is something that has been _pulling_ my spark to him since I met him. As Prime, my spark works differently than others, yes Ratchet I know it isn’t different” he said as he saw his medic starting to act up, “because of the Matrix of Leadership I have. The Matrix is bestowed onto those that Primus has chosen to be almost his conduit of power. It’s of his will that pulls and does other things that are not normal to most mechs. Of course, there are outliers in this manner, but generally, Primes are the ones being singled out.” he sighed and wondered what he should fully say.

 

“Your words of wanting Sam as a mate is...accurate, yes” he confirmed Mikaela’s words, “But it’s more to it than just that. The pull I have is like with what Jazz and Ratchet have with our comrades, two of them specifically, to make them… oh, what would you say… husbands? Eternal husbands for life?” he asked Ratchet and the medic nodded to Optimus.

 

“Husbands for life?” Epps questioned now. Ratchet came in with the answer, “We become what is called ‘aligned’ when we find our sparkmates, we merge our very cores together and make them singularly pulse in the same beat, synced as if one person in two forms” the medic informed Epps and the other humans, using what he could in human terms he could.

 

“Sparkmates?” Mikaela asked, bringing Optimus back to her, “Ah… that would be the ‘pull’ so to say. I mentioned ‘soul mates’ earlier because this is generally what sparkmates are. Our sparks are made for one another in all sense of the word. The well of which we came from originally before our breeding habits changed with the cube and our general evolution, made it so we would pair up with the most likely to be suitable to be able to raise sparklings together.” Optimus informed the young human female.

 

“And sparklings are your equivalents of babies,” Mikaela said for Epps more than anything and Optimus nodded, “Yes. That is what sparklings are. Now, I bring these up because going back to me being Prime and how our sparks are different. Not physically, but the matrix looks for the best candidates to help revolutionize our species to the next level of evolution. By bringing in another ‘coding’ line, or genes in human cases, we take in what we can through them and develop an equivalence for Cybertronian coding lines. That line will be passed onto the next generation of sparklings after the coding line syncs through all known Cybertronians”

 

“How does it do that?” Mikaela questioned, “It’s a complicated process that happened with the cube, it’s more so now since the cube is gone. The cube took the coding and inserted it into a high beam dataform that would pulsate out to encompass any nearby Cybertronians that were susceptible to taking in the data. Namely aligned pairings or trines. Without it… I believe it is a more _involved_ process than others want to have” Optimus said while being a little uncomfortable at the thought.

 

Starscream cackled at the uncomfortable nature that Optimus seemed to have in his voice, **“As if I’ll let the Prime** **_anywhere_ ** **near my spark,”** he spat out nastily and Barricade snorted if only that was a case. Starscream, as far as Barricade was informed, had no sparkmate, or mates rather. He had suspected earlier, until Starscream informed him, that Thundercracker and Skywarp had been that, but it didn’t seem the case.

 

“What do you mean, Optimus?” Will questioned with the uncomfortable nature the Prime got. They were this far in, yet it was proper to continue on the topic until it was fully done and over with. Unless told otherwise. Optimus seemed to be wondering if he should drop it but did continue, “To be more involved would… individually spreading the data...personally” he said simply, motioning to his chassis in emphasis. The humans were confused for a moment then went ‘ooooooohhhhh’ when the realization crossed over. The Prime shifted in place softly, “Indeed, this would be for both us Autobots and… our counterparts”

 

 **“Can’t even say Decepticons in this sentence”** Starscream snickered and chuckled with how uncomfortable the Prime was. He grinned to Barricade as they listened. The police unit was not as sadistic as Starscream to find glee out of this. It was just information gathering and Prime rambling in his uncomfortable state.

 

“So... “ Epps inquired, “Back to Sam, what does this all mean with him? I mean, we’re human, we don’t have sparks, and there is a large debate whether we have actual souls or not.” Epps explained and waved his hand about. Optimus vented in and sighed, “that is what I need to figure out further,” he told Epps.

 

“While Optimus has in mind of what Sam is to him, which I really had hoped wasn’t the case,” Ratchet said aloud once the quiet set in, “The pull of a spark means, for Sam, that Optimus is his protector, while Bee may be his guardian, Optimus puts full life and combatants over Sam’s welfare. This is due to the ‘Prime Coding’ if you will” Ratchet started and put up a finger in a ‘one moment’ manner when Mikaela started to try and talk.

 

“Prime coding is what all Primes have, it is specifically for their sparkmates. It starts from the moment they get the pull, it gets triggered with an ‘ah ha’ moment for them, which Optimus said he knew from the moment he met Sam so it was his ‘ah ha’. It goes and forces them to be fully protective of their sparkmates, fully wanting of their chosen ones, keeping them as close as possible and generally being what others call ‘starler like’ and ‘psycho’.” he told the humans honestly, “As Optimus stated, their aligned gives development to new coding, thus new sparklings in new coding lines, to start the next generation off with a better chance of longer survival. The coding never truly settles down even after the alignment, but they do get more levelheaded and less possessive as they trust their mates to be safe and nearby.” Ratchet continued on and waved his servo about.

 

“Why did you mention ‘you hoped it wasn’t the case’?” Mikaela quirked, sure she wanted to know of the Prime coding, but the other statement earlier got her intrigued. Ratchet sighed after his explaining was done for the other part.

 

“I mean, simply, that humans are fragile… not in an overly bad way, you are more resilient than others realize, but still. You are fragile in a physiological standpoint, you’re… squishable as Decepticons would say” Ratchet muttered lightly, “And can be harmed easily with anything. Sam got hurt in multiple points from hitting the door as an example. If Optimus finds a way for Sam to be able to align with him, then… then he’s susceptible to having Optimus go insane if he is harmed or… dies” he whispered lightly and Optimus growled at the thought.

 

 **“That would be something wouldn’t it?”** Barricade quirked and Starscream hummed just in a mild manner way that was him thinking. The situation entirely was odd in of itself. Then again, anything with Samuel was odd as far as he was concerned.

 

The group fell quiet other than Optimus growling and shifting in irritation from thinking of Sam being harmed. The medic vented in and rubbed his face, “As it is,” he started up again, “We should get things prepared for our comrades, Sam should be prepared too since he is our liaison and we’ll get in contact with Keller soon to let him know of those coming in.” the medic took the lead role while Optimus was… occupied with his thoughts.

 

“I’m going to see how Sam is doing,” Will said and moved to start getting down, but Ironhide was right on him and grabbed Will up. He blinked and gazed to the mech while he was scooped up basically. Ratchet watched and shook his helm while the others watched curiously. They had the same thought line while thinking about what had just been spoken of and were wondering if Ironhide was an ‘outlier’ like Optimus had spoken of. Ironhide lowered Will to the ground and let his human down, warming as Will gave him a look. He looked away afterward. Will stared for a few moments before hurrying to get to Sam.

 

Sam, for the other part, was freaking out. He locked his room, locked his window, locked everything he could and hid in the bathroom. Sam had been in there for the past twenty minutes since he had been sent away. His icepack was nowhere near him anymore, it was melting away on his bed and possibly soaking his comforter. That wasn’t his problem right now.

 

What was, was the fact he had blood on the floor, bandages scattered about and his hand was missing skin and fingernails.

 

When Sam had returned to his room, he had dropped his icepack and had headed to the bathroom right away, his loose feeling on his hand was bothering him emotionally so he wanted to see what was wrong. The glove came off and he noticed it and the bandages were bloody. He didn’t feel anything.

 

There was blood and something was loose and yet he felt nothing, no pain, no nerves screaming at him. That’s when Sam turned his hand over, shifting whatever that was loose onto a stable surface that was his hand and then began to unravel the bandages. Right away, blood began to pour from his hand in large, fat droplets. He froze, staring at the red pearls that dripped off his hand and then unraveled more. There was his palm that he had been nursing, been tending to for over a week, just settling on a black-gray surface. Sam trembled and slowly turned his hand before the whole palm section of his hand, skin, muscles, ligaments and attaching fleshy bits, slid off and held itself in suspension. It was attached loosely by his fingers and he shook as it didn’t even seem real.

 

This wasn’t real.

 

It couldn’t be real, Sam was dreaming this, this wasn’t real. His mind tried to make him think it was real, he lightly gripped the… the tissue and shivered as it squished and then slopped off onto the floor from the weak point he caused and the weight that couldn’t be supported anymore by dead tissue. Sam whimpered and held his wrist while being scared. His fingers were black now, they had been purple and getting darker, but now it was black. The nails were dropping off and hit the floor and it looked like he was wearing a second glove with the appendages.

 

He swallowed and moved to carefully take those off seeing as there was no purpose of having them anymore. He squeamishly detached the skin wraps that were his fingers and whimpered out of reflex before they came off in a sequence attached by the divets of skin between them. Sam dropped them and stared at what was left behind.

 

There _was_ a hand still there, but it was like no hand he had ever thought could exist. It was mechanical yet not, he couldn’t really place what it was. He moved to… to _touch_ it and shivered as he felt the light tracing he did. But it was such a weird feeling for both hands. The hand was rough and soft, pliable and movable, yet it also had an electric feeling to it. His hand curled on reflex and caught his other finger, which twitched and felt like more blood was flowing with the electric pulses opening the capillaries. Sam pulled his finger back and gripped the wrist. There was a weird leftover skin on the top of his hand and it wasn’t attached either.

 

In his increasingly freaked out state, Sam pushed the skin on the top of his hand off and watched it. At the weakest points, it slid off and fell to the ground with the rest of the skin. It was disgusting when it hit the floor and he saw the blood came from his wrist as that part was still _alive_ currently. He went and got more bandaging from his first aid kit and wrapped it tightly, cutting the blood flow off before moving to sit on the ground by the door and stare at his hand more.

 

He was put off, freaked out, and terrified of this development. No wonder he didn’t feel any fucking thing! His hand had _died_ and whatever the fuck this cyber like hand was on him was what was left. He gripped his wrist and willed it to stop bleeding while tearing up with that fear getting to him. Sam shook and hiccupped as he tried to not sob and cry, to not alert the Bots that would possibly hear him because the walls were so thin.

 

It was hard, oh so nearly impossible level of hard. He was so scared. This here was further proof, to him at least, that Sam couldn’t go to his friends with this. He was a freak of nature! That shard _did this_ to him and it seemed to be going up as he felt the burning sensation starting up again, but it was in his chest! His arm no longer hurt, but his chest was on _fire_. Sam choked and gripped his chest with both hands, gripping and clawing while his eyes dilated and cast a light on the ground. Sam gasped as he caught the shine of the light.

 

Struggling, Sam moved as quickly as he could in his pain. He was sweating and gasping for air as his lungs were refusing to work. Sam gazed to the mirror while a _fucking glowing light_ came out of his eyes! The light went away quickly, but Sam saw it! Was that what the prickling sensation was earlier? It felt the same, but the tears were welling up and he figured that was what he had been feeling in the eyes.

 

But no, it seemed the damn shard was turning him into some sort of freakish _thing_ that wasn’t human and he didn’t know if it was Cybertronian or just some weird freakish mixture of both. His mind raced as he tried to understand, tried to find some sort of _logic_ in all of this. It was going so fast, his mind, this racing of thoughts, the pain.

 

The pain was the worst.

 

Sam’s world was spinning, his mind spun with it, and soon he dropped when he couldn’t breathe anymore, blacking out on the floor of the bathroom. The skin and blood squished under his body’s weight and Sam was non-the-wiser as he laid there unmoving and not breathing. His lungs weren’t processing with the constriction of the chest from Sam’s panic and the shard working.

 

The shard pulsed and quickly tried to get things rolling, tried to get Sam to breathe again. It pulled back on its work on the chest for now as Sam was still too fragile to work on organs in this manner. It had started doing more work in the abdominal area and some sections of the chest, but the lungs, the lungs were a problem. That and the brain.

 

The brain caused lots of problems. It functioned _everything_ and the shard had to be so careful of the electrical input. Such as it working to allow Sam to understand the Autobots, it had to time and ‘watch’ the electrical movements, carefully bleeding in what it could so not to flood the child with the added information. It would cause an overload and humans could not simply ‘reboot’ if their brains overloaded, they went braindead or had massive damage.

 

It also caused humans to freak out and think rapid thoughts, be overly emotional and do just as Sam did, process little of anything and freak out over what he did know. What he had seen. The shard felt Sam starting to breathe again after it pulled away from the lungs. It went to start in other places instead, extremities, and limbs. The body needed total configuration. It was trying to speed up what it could when Sam rested, fixing things, adding in new, being discreet. Sam was aware of something going on now and he would be more aware of his body.

 

Fighting sleeping to be aware of what went on. The shard pulsed angrily as the changes were slow. It was hard to configure everything and try to make it as simple as possible for Sam to transition. But it was also so damn difficult do transition since Sam wouldn’t know how to move things once the most important organs were reconfigured. Lungs to a ventilation system, brain to a processor. The digestive system was already starting to reconfigure into a fueling system, that was easier to do, the human didn’t eat much, to begin with.

 

There was so much to do, so much to get done. It wanted Sam to be transformed quickly so Sam could start his next phase. The will of the spark was done by another force altogether, the shard was not sentient but alive and worked as a conduit from one being to do their bidding. The one pulling the transformation off was gritting their denta and grumbling while trying to pour as much power as they could into the small fragment of the Allspark. While it did its purpose, it was so slow and they couldn’t overload Sam’s fragile form.

 

So much needed to be done. There was all the time in the world to do it, but it would be best for Sam if it was done as soon as possible. If only he would stay asleep longer… If he could keep away from others until it was time.

 

 **_Time is of the essence. So many other things need to get started._ **The one controlling the shard thought while weaving more pieces of bone and muscle into a protoform within Sam’s body, being careful to not harm Sam any more than they already had for the time being. The being vented in and gazed to the other source of the Allspark and listened as Prime was talking and giving off worried energy. The being shook their helm and quietly pulsed calmness to soothe the Prime to not worry as much for Sam. To turn focus to the arrivals. Sam needed to not be disturbed.

 

There were too many disturbances already, much too many. There needed to be only silence from now on.


	8. A Quiet Conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: mentions of body horror, Optimus in hysterics

Life Through A Mortal Death

 

Chapter 8: The Quiet Conversation

 

He was in that place again. The vastness of space. It was as empty as the word suggested, but Sam wasn’t sure why he was back here. He looked at his hand and arm, it was the same, but he noticed more of him was changed, more pieces were added and the cybernetic pieces were more prominent than the rest of him. As if those were the only pieces mean to be in this location.

 

Sam tilted his head to look to his other arm and saw, at his hand, the starting process of metal and cyber parts, least that is what he thought this all was, was beginning to appear in his fingers. He felt that panic rise again, his breathing quicked and was slightly broken feeling as he felt fear follow in suit. Yet, a calmness flooded over him and swallowed him in a cooling sensation of soothing comfort. He trembled and blinked for a few moments before looking for that form. Sam was more coherent this time and he _knew_ that someone was here, pulling those strings that were playing with his life.

 

For a moment, he saw nothing, even when he turned around and tried to find the outline of the large being he knew inhabited here. That dream… or whatever the other had wanted to make it be for Sam, was this place. Wherever _here_ was. Sam continued to look around until he felt a _field_ wash over him as if a wave from the oceans of Earth. He shivered and looked to the source while continuing to feel that field. It was different than the electrical fields he could feel coming off the Autobots. Yet so similar. It was electrical to a degree, but it was softer, less noticeable unless the field wanted you to know of it. Sam quivered and gazed up at the being when they came closer. Their form looked seethrough, but Sam noticed it wasn’t that, the being just blended well with the background he was on, least Sam thought it was a he. The field felt like he.

 

The form was blanketing the vastness behind him, stars and mixed galactic dust of color splashed here and there. Black bleeding into purple splashes of swirls before bursts of white and blue, gold and reds boldly shined out and covered the mech’s frame except for his soft grayish-white face that had glowing gold optics staring at Sam. For a moment that was the only thing there before the galactic covering moved and revealed a white and gold frame with dark lines of black here and there to contrast against the golden white.

 

Sam stared in awe at the bold coloration that was bright, but soothing, such as a sunlight after a long time in darkness. He breathed in sharply when he saw a large silver servo coming up to carefully encompass his changing form. The cybernetic human quivered as some fear began to pulse back into his form, but that field pushed it back down, soothing Sam’s worries. Sam settled onto the servo while gazing upwards to the large being that was now holding him and bringing Sam up to the mech’s face.

 

A soft vent escaped the carefully crafted oral cavity, looking much like plump lips that some human females had. The vent blew over Sam’s form even though Sam was sure this place… this place was not possible to have any sort of thing happen. The cybernetic human quivered at the vent and made a soft noise before the mech chuckled softly and moved to bring the second servo up, lightly moving to pet Sam with a finger, careful to hurt or scare Sam more.

 

 **_“It seems you’re finally able to keep yourself awake”_ ** the mech rumbled and Sam blinked for a moment as the noises washed over him as incoherent babble before something clicked and he gazed up at the other. He made a noise back and shifted in place while the mech chuckled softly, giving a soft look of fondness for the changing human, moving to cradle Sam closer. **_“It’s alright, Samuel”_ **the mech’s voice crooned soothingly while they floated there in that space.

 

“Why am...why?” Sam started to try and talk, but his mind was spinning and he was not sure what to even ask. The mech understood and lightly petted Sam’s head and moved down the human’s back to get him lay down and relax. To be accepting of what was happening to him. Sam did lay down and curled up. He was confused, but he couldn’t feel the panic rise while he was comforted as if he was a young child again, by his mom when he got upset over something. **_“You’re here because you need to be”_ **the mech informed Sam lightly, his finger continued to pet Sam’s back soothingly to keep him calm.

 

 **_“There is much we need to talk about, Samuel, I’m sure you can guess who I am. Your friends often talk about me”_ **  the mech said when he knew that Sam was thinking about the mech in a way that confused the human, the look was clear in his young eyes. Sam blinked a few times before thinking. The mech smiled while Sam did so, stroking Sam’s form lightly, checking his work over, carefully seeing how the new components were taking. It was difficult to see in the mech’s large frame.   
  
A moment after thinking this, a smaller version of the larger being came up and lightly took Sam’s cybernetic hand, carefully feeling over the mesh and Sam gasped at the touch and the second form. “Primus!” he said without meaning to and the two forms chuckled in sync, **_“That you are correct”_ **the larger mech form stated while the smaller one was quiet and lightly moving a seam on one of the fingers to check the inner workings.

 

Sam shivered at the sensation and tried to curl his fingers away so he could move his hand, but his hand wouldn’t do as it said and he blinked before whimpering in a slight panic. The smaller form moved to carefully slip down to sit with Sam and pull the smaller form onto his lap. Large arms encompassed Sam’s smaller form, holding him and carefully gripped the cybernetic hand.

 

 **_“It’s alright, Samuel”_ ** Primus said lightly, the vibrations came through the smaller form that held Sam, making it so Sam didn’t have to bounce between listening to two different form. **_“You have questions, I have answers that may help you,”_ **he said softly to the human while letting Sam look inside the open seam on the middle digit. Sam could see wires and lightly moving connection mechanisms. The names and what they actually were went over his head, but he was shocked at the diverse pieces of tech inside the single finger. It was amazing to see.

 

 **_“Good, they’re finally fully connected,”_ ** Primus said and made Sam blink and look up to Primus’ smaller frame. “U-um… P-Primus?” Sam quirked and gazed at the gold optics that glanced to him. “Why is this happening to me?” he asked and Primus chirred soothingly, stroking Sam’s head softly. **_“It’s apart of my plan to help my creations. You’re still very much needed to continue this plan, Samuel. I can’t do this alone and since the Allspark is essentially destroyed I need you to help me with this.”_ **Primus told the smaller boy as watched Sam’s confused look.

 

 **_“I may be a god, but even we have limitations. I can do only so much for my creations. I’m not completely omnipotent as they believe. The Allspark was a connection that helped advance my creations when they could get their Primes to gather the needed coding, but even then there isn’t too much more I can pass through it.”_ **Primus explained softly and Sam blinked at the ‘coding’ part as it went over his head, but Primus smiled softly as the rest seemed to hit its target.

 

“S...So this is planned. B-but- But why me?” Sam quirked well he started to feel emotions again, start to feel them slip along his body, “I’m nothing special” he told Primus and the God chuckled softly to Sam and nuzzled the boy. It made Sam warm while he pressed to the larger form in the comfort given to him.

 

 **_“You are important and special, Samuel. From your empathy for my creations to the deep devotion to helping them, give them_ ** **better** **_than they had after so long with the civil war that separated them. I believe you can even change the lost ones”_ **Primus crooned softly and smiled to the boy that laid against him.

 

“Lost ones?” Sam questioned softly and Primus chuckled softly, **_“The Decepticons, I don’t believe in faction titles being something that makes my creations different. Their ideas are different, but they are still all the same. They all still long for home, survival, the possibility of tomorrow’s fruitful achievements.”_ **Primus informed Sam as the boy was eager to learn what he could. “And what of the revival?” he questioned, “I mean… they can still revive Cybertron, can’t they? Or… Or is the destruction of the Allspark completely making that useless?” Sam pressed on, his words in some stutters as he tried to put his emotions down so he wouldn’t lash out at a moment’s notice.

 

Primus crooned at the question and nosed Sam again, **_“My physical form is deeply injured, it is unable to heal alone. The Allspark was made from my energy, it was the best possibility to make the revival happen. Yet it isn’t the only thing that I put in place to help my physical form heal. It wasn’t fully destroyed, as you are aware”_ **The cybertronian God said and stroked Sam’s hand and arm lightly in emphasis, making Sam shiver and tear up as he remembered that moment.

 

“I died,” he said and Primus tilted Sam’s head back softly, **_“I never wished to bring harm to you, Samuel. Know this,”_ ** he told the human softly, **_“Your importance and being was needed to not be human anymore. You needed to transcend to be a being that is the same that you are helping.”_ **he explained softly and Sam blinked softly, shivering.

 

“But….I… I’m a freak, Primus… I… I don’t belong in either place. I’m not...I.. I was born human and yet… I-” he was choking on panic and Primus crooned, wrapping Sam up in his arms and field, covering Sam with comfort and care. **_“You are no longer human, no. Yet you are for the time being until the transformation is complete. I keep trying to push the transformation faster when you sleep when you’re relaxed and unable to feel the pain. It’s slow, I can’t strain your body like earlier when you blacked out. That was my fault for trying to configure your chassis before you were ready.”_ **Primus said and continued to nuzzle Sam soothingly. This boy was his, he was making Sam into one of his creations, thus he was Primus’ child, one he directly was creating. Primus hadn’t been directly in creating since his original thirteen creations.

 

This was a very important and much-needed part of why he needed to do this, why he needed Samuel to know, to understand why he was changing out of his organic form. “I… I don’t… I can’t…” Sam tried to speak, getting Primus’ attention and he crooned in encouragement for Sam to get his words out. “I can’ let the others see me when this gets in the later stages” Sam whispered and shook, “I am a freak… I’m nothing like they need to see and… and” he trembled as he feared the looks, the whispering, the uncertainty. Primus sighed and held Sam’s trembling form while petting his form, **_“Samuel, you will have to tell them. I cannot force you to do this, it’s not fully my place to do so since it’s your position of life. But you do have to tell them. Preferably sooner than later when we get to the more delicate transformation”_ **Primus told Sam and Sam blinked some.

 

“Why is this?” Primus sighed softly at the question, **_“I have to change your organs, Samuel. Your brain, your lungs, things that will kill you fully to where I can’t reanimate you if I don’t have complete concentration and no distractions. I’ll have to force you into a coma with the shard’s help, you’ll have to be in a place that can’t have others coming to touch you, move you, things of that nature.”_ **Primus explained while Sam paled a little and the God nodded.

 

 **_“It’ll be the final time you’ll be human, your… your organic form will die and shed off as it did here”_ ** he motioned to Sam’s hand softly, stroking the cybernetic servo and arm that laid in place now. **_“It’d be best your friends knew prior to this, but… as said I cannot force you. You have to make this decision. I’ve already started most of this changing and it’s getting closer and closer to changing you completely. I won’t say that some pain won’t linger, but I’ve tried to make numbness happen to keep you from being in complete pain”_ **Primus softly spoke while petted Sam’s head and vented lightly.

 

“H...How long do I have? T-To think and prepare on how to tell them?” Primus heard Sam pipe up after a pregnant pause. Primus sighed out a vent and made a noise, **_“I wouldn’t like to elongate this by much time. But if you feel comfortable with it, I can give you until the end of the lunar cycle, ah...that is the end of your Earth month”_ **he told the human he held. Sam made a face.

 

“That isn’t long. It’s the tenth now. Given it’s October…” Sam said and Primus made Sam look to him again when Sam lowered his head with thought. **_“I can’t put this off longer, Samuel. There is so much that needs to start now. Before the second push of the war starts on your planet.”_ **Primus informed and Sam blinked in confusion.

 

“Bu-But.” he started and Primus vented in again, **_“The war between my creations is currently lulled to a stop. It’s not fully finished, I can’t tell when it is finished when my creations will stop. But those who have plans deep settled just in case a fall happened. A fall of Megatron.”_ ** Primus continued his explaining. **_“While Optimus’ High Lord Protector is deceased currently, he is still intact, he can still be revived given the right circumstances. The Allspark, as I put, wasn’t completely destroyed. You had a shard, Optimus has a larger piece on his being that was left behind. It is enough to do a few things.”_ **

 

“Such as?” Sam questioned, thinking he knew one of them with the talk of Megatron. Which made him quiver with remembrance.

 

 **_“He will not harm you as he might once have when you are finished changing”_ ** Primus soothed. **_“The piece of Allspark can do numerous things. It can’t reanimate my physical form alone, but it can possibly cause a new one to start creating itself if it is introduced to my Vector Sigma”_ **he told Sam, who made a confused face.

 

“Your….what?”

 

Primus chuckled at the question, **_“Think of it as a collective pool of data that can create things out of almost nothing”_ ** he explained and Sam still made a face but nodded as it sort of made sense. **_“The Allspark was made from my Vector Sigma originally. If the shard Optimus has could be reintroduced to it, another could be formed and used to make my physical form come back to life. It would absorb the Allspark and keep it out of reach of others that would use it as the last one has”_ **Primus moved a servo to make a small animation of what he was explaining to Sam. His physical form, Cybertron, was deceased and there was the shard that Optimus had before it was held to a gold orb that seemed to scan it and produced another cube before it was taken to a...well of sorts and dropped inside.

 

“What else could the shard do? If… if it can do that and reanimate Megatron, which is what I believe you were hinting at earlier, what else could it do?” Sam questioned and Primus smiled as Sam caught on to his wording. **_“It can grant my vast knowledge to others and give information about certain things that shouldn’t be messed with unless absolutely needed.”_ **Primus told Sam and he blinked, “Like me being able to understand you?”

 

 **_“Exactly like that,”_ ** Primus said softly. **_“The small shard in your chassis will trigger what you_ ** **need** **_to know, but it could also trigger a processor overload if you are not careful, the shard is still intact inside you and will remain so, hidden in your spark chamber.”_ **Primus stroked Sam’s chest lightly in emphasis, making the boy warm at the touch.

 

“Is that safe?” he quirked some, **_“Possibly not if the information gets out, but there is no other option. It can’t be removed currently, you will die for sure, but after you are in your other form, you could possibly remove it carefully.”_ **Primus pondered lightly and Sam blinked some, “Question” he said and Primus’ laugh made him warm, “I know, there have been many questions” Sam huffed, “But, I am guessing I’m going to… grow, I can’t possibly be of use being human size, can I?” he told Primus his question.

 

 **_“You are quite observant. If you look already, you already growing some”_ ** he motioned to Sam’s servo, it was slightly larger than it had been when Sam discovered his new limb. **_“Once you are finished transforming, you’ll begin growing. You’ll be a sparkling sized mech, but you’ll grow quickly, especially around the other shard. It’ll feed your growth the longer your closer to it. Once you’re finished growing, you’ll be able to take a proper alternate form as your friends have. Though, I’m not sure what form you’ll take.”_ **Primus stated. He could see future lines that Sam could take, but there was no absolute answer. No absolute line focus currently, just the previous line he crossed out in favor for the current one he was on with more choices waiting to be chosen.

 

Sam nodded softly and thought to himself, “I… if the Allspark shard can do all of this, with reanimation and such, and saving Jazz now that I remember. What is going to happen to the mecha that have passed already?” Sam inquired lightly with his mind racing and he wondered, vaguely, how long he had been in this space now. He saw the sun rotating behind the larger form of Primus that had been staring off into the vastness as a sentry. It was looking, or watching, for something that could possibly appear.

 

 **_“They have to wait a bit longer, preferably when my physical form is revived, to allow the sparklings to start being recreated safely. While my creations can repopulate currently, they will just cause the sparklings to starve and be deformed due to the conditions they can come into and the lack of Energon will stunt them”_ ** Primus explained and Sam gave a sad and shocked look. The smaller form of Primus nodded to the look, **_“I’m aware of what my creations want, what they wish to do, but I also send a cautious knowledge to them in what ways I can to make them think properly. They don’t have Energon to sustain themselves, let alone clutches of sparklings that they can produce.”_ **

 

“Clutches? They can have more than one? And what do you mean by clutches? They lay eggs?”

 

Primus chuckled at the questions and nodded, **_“Yes, they can have more than one and yes they lay eggs. The eggs are gelatinous when they are laid, cushioning the sparkling inside until they attach to a solid surface and harden to a glass crystalline form that is filled for an energon synthetic liquid to solidify the sparkling’s form and allow them to have a small taste of energon before they’re hatched. They’re overly fragile and it is best to have them in a pod to allow them to most comfortable and stable conditions available.”_ **Primus said. Sam would find out one way or another, and while Primus had Sam here longer with their talking, the longer he had to continue transforming the finer points of Sam’s frame before the full stasis lock he would have to put Sam into.

 

 **_“The pods that my creations made after many generations of scientific pushes, can regulate the egg’s temperature, can monitor the health of the sparkling inside, and tell when the sparkling is beginning to hatch.”_ **the God continued to explain and smiled to Sam as he was enthralled with this talk.

 

“I… uh” Sam warmed as he began to think more of how those sparklings are made and Primus chuckled, **_“I can tell you, or your friend Ratchet can,”_ ** Primus said and Sam flustered with the thought of the embarrassing topic, **_“You will be able to produce your own sparklings in due time when you’re grown and hit your adult frame’s specific coding line.”_ **the God explained while Sam was wrapping that thought around in his head. He guesses it would make sense, he never seen any female bots…

 

“Why is there no female bots?” Sam questioned and Primus hummed, **_“Generally we have no genders as I’m sure you are aware, we don’t need them as your human species seem dictated to label one another as. Though we do have the ability to have a more masculine, feminine, or neutral framing type. I’m sure you noticed that Ratchet and Ironhide are more ‘masculine’ than say Jazz and Bumblebee?”_ ** he chuckled while Sam thought about it, **_“Jazz and Bumblebee are neutral framings, though choose to call themselves as mechs. Optimus is a feminized mech frame that carried over from when he was younger. Sure he is more masculine now, but that feminized coding is still there in certain sections of his frame. His chassis, waist, some components on his face.”_ **Primus continued his explanation while his larger form shifted his helm and seemed to be listening to something.

 

 **_“The pure feminine frames are rare and those who call themselves ‘femme’ are mostly returned to the well currently. There is possibly a small cluster of them here and there, but they are nowhere near Earth, nor will they ever be close in the current human generation line’s lifetime”_ **Primus stated and Sam sighed and shifted in Primus’ hold. Primus was quiet while he listened to what his larger frame was listening to.

 

Optimus was panicking, that would explain it. Primus, for the most part, had Sam in this plane with him for… an earth solar cycle or two. It was no wonder his chosen one was in a panic. Optimus’ sparkmate was missing and he had no clue where he was at. Primus wasn’t yet ready to let Optimus have Sam back just yet. Not when there was still much to talk about with Sam. So he turned back to Sam to continue their talk on the different frame types that a mecha could have.

 

As Primus continued to keep Sam in the plane beyond existence, Optimus was indeed in panic. Will had come back after Sam wouldn’t let him in his room. Nor answer him. There was a general consensus that Sam had wanted to be alone and thus they had left him be. That was until the day turned to night and Sam hadn’t appeared again. Epps had gone to check again while Will tried to get through Sam’s window. They had a master key to get into Sam’s room, but it was an invasion of privacy.

 

They only did it when Sam hadn’t been seen after the night passed and the tail end of twenty-four hours had passed. Epps and Will searched Sam’s room quietly, making sure Sam just wasn’t ignoring them, but they couldn’t find the boy. The bathroom was closed, locked, and that sent them into a spiral of worry. Thoughts were getting the better of them and the two rangers tried and get the door open. To Jimmy the lock before calling Mikaela to pick the lock so they wouldn’t accidentally harm Sam if he was in the way of the door.

 

The door was opened and there was nothing inside, except some blood drops on the floor. Epps sucked air in through his teeth at the large droplets and looked to Will, hiding Mikaela from them. He told Mikaela to go and get Optimus and Ironhide for the right moment of them needing to get them to scan the base and not worry Ratchet right away that Sam was possibly injured and hiding.

 

Mikaela had done just that and Will was talking with Optimus and Ironhide through the window while Epps checked more of Sam’s room for clues, checking the closet, under the bed, other rooms nearby just in case Sam had decided to do a switcher on them. That wasn’t the case here.

 

“Sam isn’t here,” Will started with Optimus, staring at him then to Ironhide, his worry showing on his face, “there is also the chance he is hurt more than just a little bit” Will added with that worry edging into his voice. Ironhide came forward and held his hand out for Will. The human climbed onto the hand and let Ironhide carry him while muttering to Optimus that they were going to the medical corner to inform Ratchet personally before the medic went on full alert.

 

Optimus didn’t listen, he began to scan for the familiar form of his boy. He couldn’t see the familiar signature anywhere, the small form that was his Samuel. Worry and panic gripped at his spark, twisting it as he vented in quickly and began to walk quickly around base, scanning, searching, mentally calling out for Samuel. His spark called for Sam and he was feeling the need to call out vocally rose the longer he couldn’t find his boy.

 

Sam blinked and looked around as he heard his name being called. Primus sighed as he saw this and held Sam a little closer and continued to talk, to distract Sam for just a little longer. He was working on a few components in Sam’s legs and spinal strut, he didn’t want Sam waking up during this process and trying to move when his legs wouldn’t respond. Or the rest of his body. The God got Sam’s attention back on him and he continued his teaching of Samuel.

 

“SAM!!” Optimus finally gave into the feeling and called out for his boy. His spark twisted painfully as there was no response, there was no scan acknowledgment of his boy. Nothing showed up to signify that Sam was on base. His prime coding was about to activate into full hunt mode if Sam couldn’t be found. His mind went back to Ratchet’s words of _‘he may bolt’_ and that caused Optimus to call out more.

 

SAM!!

 

SAM!!

 

**_SAM!!_ **

 

Switching unknowingly form English to Cybertronian in his panic. Jazz was tailing Optimus when Ratchet had called out for Optimus to calm down, that they would find Sam. It wasn’t of use, but Jazz following Optimus was the best they could hope, to have the saboteur trip up the Prime or find a way to calm him, subdue the panicked mech while Sam was missing.

 

Ratchet knew this would happen, knew Optimus would panic and get more involved, more out of hand with his chosen sparkmate’s being. Sam missing now was just _showing_ the humans what Ratchet had feared happening. Fearing for the Prime’s well being while he couldn’t find his sparkmate.

 

 **“Primus below,”** Starscream muttered as he listened to the hysterics of Prime calling out for Sam. For the _clearly_ distraught mech’s sake, Starscream hoped that human was found quickly. It was one thing when a normal mech couldn’t find their sparkmate, they got a little hysterical and had to be calmed with being held and soothed by comrades and close friends or family units. It was another thing entirely to _hear Prime_ be in hysterics.

 

That **_bellowing_ **that came from deep inside the mech, the utter helplessness that it made one feel just from listening to it. Even if it was his enemy, his adversary, his opposite in leadership, Starscream shook when Optimus keened and he crossed his arms over his chassis, holding himself while putting a claw to his mouth. The seeker shivered when Optimus caterwauled Sam’s name. The mech sound utterly miserable and lost. It made his own spark twist with worry and ache the longer Sam wasn’t found.

 

Primus sighed when Sam got to looking again, “Someone’s calling my name” he told Primus and the God nodded, **_“Yes, Optimus is filled with worry. They can’t find you and it is setting his panic meter off the scales so to speak”_ **Primus used a few human euphemisms. Sam blinked and frowned. Why would Optimus be worried about him?

 

 **_“I moved your body so there wouldn’t be any disruptions”_ ** Primus explained lightly and Sam frowned more, **_“Plus the time you’ve been here might not seem long, yet the time it has been in the mortal plane has been much longer. It’s been a… solar cycle- a day, and a half since you were last seen”_ **Primus stated, correcting his word usage for Sam and the human gasped at the information.

 

“Primus!” Sam hissed in panic, “I-I need to go back, send me back!” he said and Primus held Sam, trying to calm the human again, putting his servo over Sam’s eyes and crooned into the human’s ear, gripping him close and feeling the pulsations in Sam’s chest go from quick to slow, panic to soothed. In his plane, in this space he had Sam, it was far easier to manipulate emotions than in the physical plane. Primus gave a soft ‘kiss’ to Sam’s head to calm the boy more.

 

 **_“You are not ready just yet, but give me a few moments and I’ll have you ‘fixed’ to a point your body could be moved again”_ **Primus explained and Sam frowned at the words. He was warm from the kiss and shifted some, pouting as a sparkling would and Primus chuckled at the thought. Sam was his sparkling currently, his boy, his child. He claimed his boy as his just as Optimus did, but for two very different reasons.

 

Just as a bellowing of Optimus’ voice came through with Sam’s name being dedicated on the vocals, Primus finished his work for now and hugged Sam close. **_“You’ll be able to comprehend and understand us better now. Be careful with this ability if you choose to keep your change a secret still, Samuel.”_ ** Primus warned and Sam nodded, **_“Be safe, young one, remember what I have told you. When the end of the lunar cycle comes, you_ ** **have** **_to find a secluded area, no matter what. By your own choice, or my interference. You’ll start to lose your organic matter more, to be warned, and so you should be careful if you don’t tell your friends”_ **Primus added in his warning. Sam made a face and lowered his head, nodding. Primus stroked Sam’s back lightly then wiled Sam awake, letting Sam’s astral form disappear from his lap and back to the boy’s body.

 

The God’s smaller form disappeared too and the larger one sighed, rubbing his face lightly as he listened with a hurting spark as Optimus became lost in his hysterics. He pulsed soothing waves through the connection he had with Optimus, through the matrix, giving comfort to his chosen one as Sam went back to Optimus.

 

Sam made a noise of ache and slight pain. He coughed as dust and dirt filled his nose and he was sweaty. His clothes were a mess and he wondered where he was. He remembered Primus, remembered the conversation after a minute of wonderment. He looked and found himself in a rather small space. It almost looked like an air duct and he wondered exactly where this was. The human moved to go towards the voices he heard, human and Cybertronian.

 

Optimus’ was the more prominent as he sounded like he was nearly _sobbing_ in his cries of Sam’s name. Sam touched his chest as that noise made him hurt. Think about how upset Sam missing was affecting the Prime. Sam looked to his hand and noticed it was gloved again, Primus took precaution prior to moving Sam to make sure the hand couldn’t be seen just in case Sam’s choice wasn’t one he preferred. Sam moved to an opening and peered down, sticking his head out just as Optimus’ form came through where he was at.

 

Sam was in the ceiling duct of the main hanger, above the center where the Autobots collected. Ironhide and Jazz were grabbing at Optimus while Ratchet was trying to calm the Prime. Optimus wasn’t having it and was pulling at the hold that Ironhide had on him and trying to carefully push Jazz away as he called out Sam’s name again, his voice cracking and breaking in his state of distraught. The human reached out and softly called out.

 

 _“I’m here”_ in a hoarse voice. He was dehydrated in his organic body pieces and that included his vocal cords. As soon as he called out, all four of the mechs below him shot their heads back to look at the hold the human was peering out of. He was dirty, exhausted, looking as if someone had put him there against his will, which was true.

 

“ _Sam!!!”_ Optimus called out desperately, reaching for his boy. His optics were wide and had shown signs of being distraught as they were dimmed in several sections of the glass. They couldn’t cry like humans, not really. They could release a fluid like substance that could be called ‘tears’, though it was mostly to wash their optics out if something foreign got behind the glass. Optimus looked as if they had released that fluid in his stated of distraught and hysterics.

 

Sam reached for Optimus’ servo and moved to slide out when he saw the small drop. He held the hole until he could get into Optimus’ servo since the Prime was just a tad short of the ceiling, which was good since Optimus didn’t have to duck every time he came into the building, yet right now didn’t help since Optimus just wanted to hold his boy close to his chest, touch his frame and check him over, worried and relieved that Sam had been on base, had been safe for the most part, was in the center location.

 

Once Sam was safely in Optimus’ servo, the Prime brought Sam down and held him close, carefully covering him from view with both servos as he settled his boy over his chassis, above his spark. Sam warmed and laid there, leaning against Optimus’ metal and felt the energy lightly pulsing from inside the Prime’s chassis. The rest of the team sighed in relief and let Optimus go and backed away. Bee had kept the humans back and in a safe distance and then came forward to Optimus.

 

The Prime warbled lightly to Bee and kept Sam hidden with his servos for the time being. He didn’t say anything while he moved to go and find a quiet spot for the time being as he needed to just reaffirm himself with Sam being close, being within his hold. He shivered and softly made a noise as he had full blown lost it, he had gone into core programming that was near _mourning_ with Sam not being found. He almost left base when no one came up with anything and his scans showed nothing. Even from a far distance, he couldn’t pick up Sam’s signature _anywhere._ If Ironhide hadn’t had a hold on him, Optimus would have left the base to try and find his boy.

 

Sam lightly touched Optimus’ chassis and kneeled on the Prime’s servo, looking up to Optimus when he heard the soft mumbling that Optimus was making. He cleared his throat lightly and tried to get Optimus’ attention. “Optimus” he whispered softly, his throat needed fluids, especially since he had been in a tight place where the heat had sucked the fluids out of him.

 

Optimus gazed down at his boy and felt his spark warm as the boy was touching his chassis. Unknowingly, Sam petted and stroked the Prime with his Cybernetic hand, making the Prime calm more while Sam leaned against the Prime’s frame. “You… you had us so worried, Sam” Optimus said, trying to keep his voice calm. _You had_ **_me_ ** _so worried._ Those words didn’t come out, but Sam knew they were there. The human frowned and nodded, “I’m sorry” he told Optimus with his voice being scratchy. Optimus nodded and stroked Sam’s side lightly with a finger while Optimus continued to calm, continued to be soothed with the fact his boy was found, his boy was safe, he had his boy with him and knew he was alive.

 

The Prime brought Sam up to his face and he lightly nuzzled the boy. Sam smiled as it reminded him of Primus and he gave the Prime a hug on the faceplate’s to let the Prime calm down more. Optimus rumbled his engine soothingly while he enjoyed the touch his boy gave. He settled down in the shade behind the barracks in the late afternoon, sitting down and slightly leaning to the building as he continued to nuzzle and take comfort in the fact his boy was okay.

 

 **“I’ve never heard Prime like that,”** Barricade said after he returned, knowing Starscream had heard it, the seeker couldn't resist. Starscream was still holding himself and he nodded to Barricade’s words. There was not much the two hadn’t heard come from Prime before, the only things were intimate things, planning. The hadn’t heard the total loss and hysteria the Prime could display either, that was until now. It was something they didn’t want to hear again.

 

Not just from the Prime, but anyone, that wasn’t something one should hear, the loss and utter defeat with losing a mate of any kind. The constant calling and mourning with no answer. Decepticons hadn’t paired up for those reasons alone, the rare few stayed so close to one another that the one left behind would be taken out quickly before that mourning set in place. It wasn’t their place to hear such loss. It wasn’t their way to listen to it go on publically.

 

 **“My question though,”** Starscream said after the transmission went quietly in the comms, **“How was it that Sam was near the receiver box and we never heard it?”** he questioned. Barricade thought about that too.

 

 **“It’s in the ceiling of the main building, near impossible to get to in my frame size without climbing something. A human couldn’t get there without assistance. Someone** **_hid_ ** **him there”** Barricade concluded after a momentary thought. Starscream frowned and put a clawed servo under his lower derma in thought.

 

 **“There is more to this than we can know what is going on currently. I’d send Frenzy, but seeing as you’re alone right now, I’m guessing Soundwave has arrived?”** The seeker gazed to the lack of chattery hacker on Barricade’s form. The police bot nodded and motioned behind him, **“He was about three miles behind me, scanning some local vehicles and creatures when I left, giving him the coordinates here. He said he had to do a few hookups to the human telecom systems before he came”** Barricade explained his lack of Soundwave. The seeker gave the imitation of rolling his optics as he turned himself to the computer and did a few scans of the area to find Soundwave’s signature.

 

He wasn’t too far out, but there was a question as to why he was at a place called a ‘zoo’.

 

Primus hummed as he continued to watch Optimus cuddle Sam in the shadow of the afternoon sun. He hadn’t told Sam of Optimus’ behavior nor would he take Optimus’ chance of telling Sam away from his chosen. The actions already spoke louder than words, but the answers Sam needed weren’t fully realized yet. He vented out and then looked to the ‘holoform’ of Sam’s frame that he used to work on reconfiguring Sam’s body and lightly gazed at what was done and what still needed to be done.

 

It was like a broken model, scattered pieces here and there, some completed parts were made, but the rest was still missing, not yet complete. Primus had given Sam the knowledge of time, the knowledge of when he would remove Sam’s astral being from his body for the final process. He only hoped Sam would tell the others and spare Optimus the pain of having Sam going missing a second time and dying a mortal death. An _organic_ mortal death.

 

Yet, from talking to Sam, Primus felt that his boy wasn’t going to do that, he had deep-set in worries that came from his human side and from past abuse he had been able to get out of the boy in his time that he had Sam there. Abuse from peers, comrades that turned enemies. It was understandable, but Primus knew, whatever Sam did the outcome would be the same acceptance of the bots, a little apprehensiveness from the humans as they would be startled from the sudden change.

 

Though it would not be long since they were dealing with ‘aliens’ that weren’t of their own kind. Primus sighed out a vent and looked back to the vastness of space as he watched tiny groups move and battle one another not far from him. His creations that were both Autobots and Decepticons. He knew each one, knew their names, their habits, their desires. He knew everything, all the misdoings, the misguided actions. He forgave them all for their mortal workings. They weren’t perfect, weren’t infallible, he understood the silly civil war and why it happened.

 

It was silly to him, but if he had been mortal, he would have been more likely to choose a side such as his creations had. But being a Godly being, he didn’t step in and interfere as it was part of his limitations. He couldn’t stand in the way of their decisions, of their workings, of what happened to them. He could guide certain things in favor of longer survival, of the better outcome, but he couldn’t ultimately change what Fate had designed for them.

 

Primus shook his helm and turned his helm to the darker side of space, gazing deep into the depths where his physical form laid practically dead in it comatose state. His optics twitch just slightly to a deeper section even farther from his form, to a slow-moving planet as it consumed another, slowly. It wasn’t a true physical form, it was like his, other universally existing in a plane that others couldn’t see it in. This one’s form was similar to his own, mechanized, a creature that had created something long ago like Primus, and was out of that form currently. He sighed and watched the figure like a hawk, waiting for when Sam would go back to rest so he could continue working on his boy.


End file.
